Self-image

I've been having a very hard time appreciating my body lately. I've been losing weight, oh so slowly, but consistently since having Ruth, but I don't feel attractive often, no matter how many times Nathaniel tells me I'm beautiful (and he certainly does his part on that end). I just read this post from mom on a wire, though, and it is wonderfully written. I can't quit trying to better myself, because I am overweight still, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't learn to cut myself some slack and not fixate on what I consider my problem areas. My girls and my husband love me and for that, if nothing else, I deserve to love myself.

On a positive diet note, I "weighed in" early today in order to take advantage of Fat Tuesday without too much guilt, and I crossed a personal goal that I've been working toward for months! Okay, it's cheating a little, since I weigh less at lunchtime than I would at dinner, but I'm still counting it. It feels so good. Plus, I went shopping a week ago and bought three pairs of size 12 pants! At my low weight pre-Ruth, I was just getting into a size 12, but before that I think it had been the beginning of college since I'd fit a 12 comfortably. That's some good motivation, for sure!

Last thing before starting a laundry folding marathon... I'm hoping Nathaniel has checked his email before seeing this here, but with him out of town all week, I thought it was so sweet this morning when Marianne got out her bag of crayons and asked me to help her color a picture "to send to daddy". We've done that to send pictures to her grandparents, but not for ages. I'm always amazed by the memories of children. I don't expect the mail could get it to him in time, so I took a picture and emailed it to him, but here it is for everyone else to enjoy as well. You can probably tell which colors I did and which were Marianne's, but it was all under her direction.

The foremost expert in...

Olympic ice dancing, um, panties? I have gotten more hits lately from google searches for that chain than you would believe (minus the confused "um"). Remind me not to talk about ice dancing and potty training my daughter in the same post again.

Sound bites

Marianne (upon arriving home from shopping, holding some of my hair gel): Mommy, can I take these to the bathroom?

Me: Sure. Let me turn the light on for you.

Marianne (in a talking-to-a-baby cutesie voice): Can I? Can I take them to the little teeny bathroom?

Me: I already said yes. Now quit mocking our tiny bathrooms.

****

TV announcer from "Dancing with the Stars": Next up is Stacy and ....

Marianne: Mommy, is that Stacy? Mommy, you're not Stacy!

Me: Not if that's my competition. No, I'm not.

****

Marianne (on an interesting variation to one of her favorite questions): Where's bad daddy? Is there a bad daddy? Is you a bad mommy?

Me: There's no bad daddy or bad mommy, but it sounds like there is bad grammar.

Marianne (looking totally excited to have finally gotten a positive response to this form of questioning): Are there bad grammar? Are there?! Are there bad grammar?!

Me: For sure, there are.

****

Marianne (with a sing-songy little tune): Becky* has a light-light**. Becky has a light-light. Becky sleeps with a light-light!

Anyone have a clue what cartoon this is from? Marianne has started making up songs occasionally (she gets that from her dad his whole family, and me too, I guess, so not too surprising), but this one keeps popping up since Friday, and she said it's "from the cartoons" but won't give any more details.

* Becky? Peggy? Piggy? I don't know. Something with that general sound.
** Translation: "night-light"

Thank God for good friends

Especially the ones that go to our church. With Nathaniel out of town I was on my own with the girls for mass this weekend, and I was dreading it! Marianne needs to be fenced between two adults or she will not stay put. And Ruth is at an age where she wants to play with something, but she's not big enough to sit or stand by herself without constant supervision (I remember Marianne toppling off the seat in church too many times to take the same risks with Ruth), so she has to be held constantly, and actively - handing her new toys to keep her quiet and changing her position frequently. That only leaves me about half a hand to deal with Marianne when she tries to bolt from our row out into the aisle.

The morning started off well, in that we were DONE with breakfast at 8:00 (that's a good thing if you ignore what time it means we got out of bed) instead of just getting started. I had plenty of time to get the girls and myself dressed and out of the house, and I'd had the foresight to back the diaper bag and Marianne's backpack last night. But between breakfast and leaving the house Marianne expressed in no uncertain terms her dislike for our plan ("Nuh-uh* Mommy! I'm not going to church. I don't wanna wear that dress. I don't like it. I don't wanna go to church! Nuh-uh!" insert screaming around the part about the dress). I coaxed her into going by allowing her to take her blankie with us. This, for us, in unheard of. She has a blankie that she loves to pieces but we DO NOT allow it to leave the house. However, when we got in the car and I ran back intothe house to grab the promised blankie, it was m.i.a. I looked everywhere, and instead had to convince Marianne that the stuffed animal I had packed for her the night before was an adequate replacement. Thankfully she bought it.

I had a major scare when we walked into the church and the friends I had intended to sit with and leech assistance from were already boxed in by other parishioners. Aack! I found a nice aisle seat to allow myself easy access to jet out of the church and into the cry room should the need arise... but then my heroes arrived. Our friends Justin and Holly with their daughter, Morgan, who is three months older than Marianne. I asked them to join me, and they were kind enough to do so. That arrangement probably added a little bonus drama to the service, since, though Justin, Holly and we consider Morgan and Marianne to be all BFF, I think they see each other as threats to attention or something, because they tend to bicker and fight over things more with each other than anyone else. They were remarkably good, though, and Holly and Justin were saints about helping me out with Marianne. Justin carried her up to communion and walked with me out to the car to help get her and all my bags in after mass. I don't know what I would have done without their help! Ruth, thankfully, had fallen asleep on my shoulder just before communion, which helped a lot, too. Overall, it wasn't a terrible experience. If you want to know what the readings were about, though, you'll need to ask someone else.

* "Nuh-uh" appears to be Marianne's new favorite "word", if you can call it that. I have yet to determine if I'm to blame for that, or if she picked it up from one of the pre-teens at her daycare, but either way I'm not loving it.

Grumble, grumble

Being sick anytime stinks. Being sick when you have two kids and your husband has just left unexpectedly for a week long trip for work is way, way worse. I thought I just felt crummy as the result of a late night with a few cocktails (entertaining some work colleagues of mine who were visiting from CA) combined with a rough morning (Nathaniel leaving at 5am woke up both girls, and though I managed to get them both back to sleep by 5:30, Marianne was awake just after 6:00 so I had to get ready for work with her all over me and very little sleep). But I felt progressively nastier all morning and by the time I took my coworkers out to lunch I was getting seriously concerned about my ability to make it through the meal without vomiting all over our table. I took two tiny bites of my chicken sandwich then sat at the table focusing on making those bites remain in my stomach. Thankfully my boss is fantastic, and she sent me home before she'd even left to catch her plane. I came home and napped for a couple hours prior to picking the girls up from daycare. It helped, but I still feel like crap, and the chicken broth I ate for dinner was not enough to keep me from being very hungry even though the thought of eating anything makes my stomach churn. And don't get me started on how our stock of frozen breastmilk is getting precariously low, but because I couldn't eat or drink anything today I was hardly able to get any milk when I pumped. Argh. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep it off tonight and feel better for my weekend alone with the girls. I swear every time Nathaniel leaves either I'm sick or one of the girls is. It's not fair. (Hope you're having fun at your peaceful mountain observatory, babe! No really, I do. Honest. I'm not bitter.)

On a more upbeat note, here's a funny train of thought that Marianne shared with me this evening...

Marianne (playing with her toy school bus that sings "The Wheels on the Bus"): Mommy, you go up and down to the restaurant?

Me: What's that?

Marianne: You go up and down to work at the restaurant.

Me: Well, you came downtown to see me at the restaurant (assuming she's referring to last week to see Nathaniel's friend DB). But I don't work at the restaurant. I work in an office building.

Marianne: But you go up and down?

Me (epiphany): OH! Yes, I do take the bus to work!

Because, you know, "the kids on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down..." She cracks me up!

Drum roll, please...

Now you can all see why my husband called me a cheater. Here are my explanations to the stories I gave about myself a couple days ago. Kate and Jenni were the ones who got the answer right, so congrats, guys! You win nothing, but I'm glad you played.

1. My first car was a blue Pontiac Sunbird, given to me by parents as a high school graduation gift, and I had it till just over a year ago when we traded it in for a "family car". My sister got a Sunbird for a graduation gift, but I actually got a much cuter, sportier looking car – a Pontiac Sunfire, which I loved and drove all over the country till we finally had to trade it in for something with four doors last year.

2. I started taking Tae Kwon Do my senior year in h.s. and continued during breaks from college for about a year. I eventually earned my red belt, but never made it to black. I did indeed take Tae Kwon Do, for the time mentioned, but I was never very competitive and didn’t manage to get past the first couple rounds of testing (green belt).

3. I have had ridiculously easy pregnancies and labors with both of my daughters (hardly seems fair, really). In fact, I've only had to "push" a combined total of 8 times, practices before the doctor arrived included. TRUE! Can you believe it? Crazy, I know. I’m not saying I wasn’t in labor for a while, and that I didn’t get to feel some nasty contractions prior to getting my epidural. But once it got down to pushing, despite Marianne’s ridiculously large head, I think I pushed three times for Marianne and five times for Ruth. I think I’ll have more kids – it’s so EASY!

4. One summer during college I did an internship at Disney World. My main job was working in the popcorn/drink stands in the Magic Kingdom, but while there I auditioned for a role as a "face character", and made it to the next to last round of auditions to be Belle. I did work there, and I did go to the face character audition. And I would LOVE to be Belle… But I didn’t get past even the first round of the audition. They took one look and me and sent me home. I guess I just don’t have the face (or body type) of a Disney Princess.

A shout out to my sista!

First, I'd like to issue a formal thank you to the women figure skaters who competed last night. Your costumes were, for the most part, what one would expect of a performer of your level. They mostly covered your private bits, and they were artistic, graceful and attractive. Huge, HUGE improvement over the ice dancers' skanky uniforms. But if one of you could throw a hissy fit and stop talking to you partner for the next couple days, that would add a little extra drama! Oh, nevermind. You don't have partners. See what you can do, anyway.

Now, on to the real point of this post... Allow me to introduce a new member of the blog world - my sister-in-law, Renee. I'm so excited she's here now, if only because I'll get to keep up on my nephew William in more detail. She's been a frequent commenter here, and I'm looking forward to repaying the favor. Renee is just getting started, but check her out in the coming weeks, because I think she'll be a good read!

Updating ME!

I've had that hanger picture attached to my profile since I started the blog while I waited for something better. I think I finally have it. This is the picture I had taken for Nathaniel's Christmas present, only his was in color. I like the black and white for here, though, I think. So there you all go - a new profile picture of me!

Liar, liar

I got tagged for the first time! (Meaning, someone from another blog, in this case Kate, named me for a meme.) I'm so flattered... but this one is hard. Here's how this particular tag is working. I'm giving four pieces of info about myself, and you guys guess which of the four is true. The other three are things I made up. Good luck. I'll give you all a couple days to guess and then I'll post the answer.

The hardest part is thinking of things that everyone doesn't already know about me. I'm a fairly open person. So even if you TOTALLY know the right answer, make it sound like you're guessing for the fun of the game, eh? But do guess. I want to feel loved. I want more than 2 responses. Thanks!

1. My first car was a blue Pontiac Sunbird, given to me by parents as a high school graduation gift, and I had it till just over a year ago when we traded it in for a "family car".

2. I started taking Tae Kwon Do my senior year in h.s. and continued during breaks from college for about a year. I eventually earned my red belt, but never made it to black.

3. I have had ridiculously easy pregnancies and labors with both of my daughters (hardly seems fair, really). In fact, I've only had to "push" a combined total of 8 times, practices before the doctor arrived included.

4. One summer during college I did an internship at Disney World. My main job was working in the popcorn/drink stands in the Magic Kingdom, but while there I auditioned for a role as a "face character", and made it to the next to last round of auditions to be Belle.

As for tagging others, almost all of my usual reads have already played, but I'll invite Jenni and Tiffany to join the fun if you haven't previously.

Edited to add: Nathaniel just confirmed to me that I'm probably cheating with my factoids above as they're all fairly close to truths but only one is REALLY true... So, sorry if I played wrong. But I can't change them now, cause that would give it all away. I'll let you all know probably on Thursday what the truth is, and what the stories are on the others. So keep the guesses coming, and stay tuned!

Just curious

If you heard a hair dye color described as "chocolate caramel" would you think red? How about if the other description on the box was "medium dark brown"? Red?

Just wondering...

Edited to add: an illustration. I can hear the evil laugh from the Nutrisse hair color people now, as I would not call this medium dark brown. Ah well. A little adventure in every box!
This hardly looks red at all - not like it does to me in my bathroom mirror. But trust me, it is!

The gold medal for most hideous attire goes to...

Olympic Ice Dancing. Wow. If I had to pick a worst outfit among the ice dancers, I don't know that I could do it (although the Italian couple, Fusar-Poli and Margaglio, would be right at the top of the list). The women's outfits are enough to make me gag - I mean is it actually a contest to see who can wear the least opaque fabric, held together with the most tiny straps? I know, I know. There's all sorts of skin tone fabric included so that you can't actually see the lady's breasts through what appears to be nothing but sparkles, but that doesn't make me like it any better. And to make matters worse, they somehow get the men into outfits that look like nothing so much as a skintight tux, without the white shirt, on which a 90 year old grandma's garden threw up. I can't even focus on the dancing part of the event because I'm so distracted by the costumes. Of course, last night's ice dancing was made even more difficult to watch because the couples all kept taking awful falls. You can see some shots of the crashes here, including a few of my worst-dressed pick from above - the last couple in the seafoam green ensemble. I really hope the Canadian woman is okay, because when her hip hit the ice it was enough to make we squirm with sympathy pain. At least the American team kept their footing the whole time!

I realized the other day that Nathaniel and I have watched more tv together in the past week than we have in probably the past 6 months total! We've even had dinner in the family room a couple times (which Marianne thinks is the greatest thing EVER) so that we could watch the men's figure skating. Okay, Nathaniel may have been watching for some of the other sports, but I love the figure skating. I would guess that during a normal week, I watch less than 2 hours of television, and what I do watch is almost entirely Sesame Street and other PBS children's programming. Maybe the occasional rented dvd after the girls go to bed on the weekend... So this is a huge change. It's been really fun, to be honest. Heck, Nathaniel and I might have to get ourselves "a program". You know, the one show everyone has that they just can't miss during the week. Of course, the lack of cable limits our choices, and the lack of TiVo or even a reliable VCR makes keeping up on any one show challenging. I think this was a good reminder to me that it's refreshing to relax in front of the tv occasionally. I can't always be either feeding and entertaining children or cleaning the house. I need a break every once in a while! Like maybe every four years during the winter Olympics.

9 months

My beautiful baby girl, you turned nine months old this week.

Your check-up is on Monday, and I cannot wait to get all of your stats! Sure, I could weigh you at home, but there's something about getting the official weight and height from the pediatrician that makes it more real. You've always been a big girl (since your 9lb 3oz birth); I don't expect that to have changed. I gave an update on you not long ago, but I'm always amazed by the speed at which infants grow up! As excited as I am to see the little girl you are quickly becoming, I already miss the newborn baby you were, and I'll miss the infant you are now...

... the sleep-heavy, post-nursing snuggles that I wish could last for half an hour rather than just the 30 second walk to your crib

... the row of slobber marks along the side of the sofa where you've used your mouth to help pull yourself to standing

... the utter delight in anything paper that you can get into your mouth before I retrieve it from your little fists

... the enormous grins and giggles when you're bouncing in your door-jumper, and the free time that allows me to get your sister ready for bed

... the willingness to eat anything mushy on a spoon, resulting in meals in 10 minutes or less (your sister never would eat from a spoon, so her finger food meals averaged 45 minutes from 6 months on)

... the nicknames that only seem appropriate for a young baby - Ruthie-roo, Bittie-one, Bug-bug, Boo - and will quickly give way to just Ruth, or maybe Ruthie

There are times that I'm afraid you're not getting the same quality time from me that your sister did, since I now have to juggle the both of you. I don't think I read to you as often. I know I don't spend as long just cuddling. But since you wake up an hour or two earlier than your sister did when she was an only child, at least we have longer days to spend together (always look on the bright side, right?).
The past nine months have been a challenge and a blessing and I couldn't love you more, Ruthie-roo. Don't be in too big a rush to grow up, please.

Snow day

Denver got a real winter snow last night! It was all I could do to keep Marianne calm till Ruth's morning nap before we bundled up and headed out to play in the powder. I wanted to build a snowman, but the snow is way too light and fluffy. Instead, I taught Marianne how to make a snow angel:
There was no keeping Marianne from her favorite snow activity - eating it:
We got in a good 20 minutes before Marianne's hands were suddenly so cold she started crying. Now we've peeled off our wet layers and Marianne is wrapped in a blanket watching Elmo's World.

Before we came in, though, I couldn't resist having a little fun myself:

I feel good about winter now that we've had our day to play. If I had my way, we'd move on to spring now. Marianne and I found daffodils popping out from the snow in our flower bed, but I'm afraid their fate may be sealed with March still to come.

For anyone who's wondering, Marianne is not magically potty trained since deciding on Tuesday that she wanted "to be big". The big girl panty-wearing went down in a blaze of glory around 4:30 that afternoon when she wet on the living room floor and refused to admit it had happened. ("Marianne, did you just potty in your pants?" as I'm looking at the puddle on the floor. "No, Mommy.") Huh.

Assorted quotes

Marianne (seeing Nathaniel's laptop on the dining room table): I'm just gonna check my blog.

*****
Marianne (different day, in the car with Nathaniel, a report about blogging is on NPR): Have you checked Mommy's blog today?

*****
Marianne (on the phone with her Grandma Sherri, so I could only hear her side of the conversation): OHHH! That's a bummer.

*****
Ruth: Dadada. Dadadadadada.

*****
I love discovering what I say most by hearing it come back to me from the mouth of my own child. Well, the Ruth one doesn't really count. That's all she says. Ever. But since hearing the "bummer" comment from Marianne I've realized that I use that word ALL THE TIME. Similarly, whenever Marianne throws something to or at you, she will say "I chuck it at you!", because it turns out I use the word "chuck" rather than "throw" way too much. Of course it's especially fun coming from Marianne, since she drops a lot of her opening consonant sounds.

Never a dull evening

We had dinner out last night at a fun, trendy bar/restaurant downtown, and the girls were extremely well-behaved. I was somewhat apologetic when I told the hostess that our party would consist of five adults and two little kids, so we'd need at least a highchair and a booster seat if they had one. It turned out they did have both available, and the hostess commented that she was certain some of the 22 year olds that they had in the restaurant regularly were worse behaved than the kids. Dinner went smoothly and we left just as Ruth was reaching the end of her happy-baby rope. Then, as we were standing outside on the street saying goodbye to our friends, Marianne danced and spun in circles putting on a show for everyone. Until she threw up. You read that correctly. I guess the slightly rich food (it was just a cheese quesadilla!) and the excitement of being out were too much for her. Maybe it was the tequilla shot. Either way, she threw up her dinner all over the sidewalk in the hippest part of downtown Denver. I'm glad it was a Monday night, so there weren't too many 20-somethings out on the town to give us dirty looks. The friends with us are in the medical field, so handled it gracefully, but it was still embarrassing. Marianne felt better on the drive home, thankfully. However it just goes to show that once you have kids, you'll never have a dull evening out.

Marianne has been wearing big girl panties since she got up this morning and has only had one accident! It's only been about three and a half hours, but that's pretty good in my book! Keep your fingers crossed that this may be the start of something great...

Just being a mom

Since we're meeting some friends downtown for dinner tonight, we decided that I could stay downtown after work and have a drink with a colleague of mine while Nathaniel picks the girls up and brings them downtown. That meant that last night I had to get together all of the gear that we need for a dinner out with the kids in addition to the stuff I get together for a normal day of daycare. But as I organized the luggage, we realized that since there's a little extra time, Nathaniel can actually take the girls home after daycare, feed Ruth her pureed food, then drive downtown and we'll give her a bottle of milk at the restaurant... Things are never simple once kids are involved!

Amid all this discussion and planning and packing of bottle supplies, changes of clothes, restaurant friendly (read: quiet) toys, diapers, etc., I commented that I appreciate Nathaniel taking care of the girls after work since I wouldn't be doing much of anything to help with that. His response was something like, "Cause you aren't a hero every day?". "What's that?" I said. "Just that you're a hero every day - picking up the girls, feeding them, making all the baby food, making dinner... I suppose I can feed the baby one time for you." It was a brief conversation, but it has totally stuck with me. I never felt under appreciated for the role I play in caring for our children on top of working part-time, but suddenly I feel almost over appreciated! Making some pureed carrots and broccoli is hardly what I'd call "hero" work, but it's nice to know that my wonderful, busy husband notices that I do these things and that he's thankful he has me. I'm not a hero, just a mom. But maybe sometimes those are more closely related that moms realize.

Dates, doorknobs and cats

It's been an exciting weekend, and it's not even over yet! Last night, thanks to some very good friends, Nathaniel and I were able to have a date night. In honor of Valentine's Day, we decided to swap babysitting services with our friends Heather and Matt. They brought Marianne's little friend, Miranda (a.k.a. their daughter) over and watched the girls while we went out to dinner. Not only were Nathaniel and I able to eat simultaneously, but we did it while the food was still hot! And without having to constantly pull breakable items out of tiny hands. Very refreshing! Next weekend it will be Matt and Heather's turn.

Speaking of tiny hands, Marianne's hands have finally learned a trick I'd been dreading. She has figured out how to open doors. I knew it was coming - she's actually probably a little slow in this development, because she's always been small for her age. She can only now reach high enough to really grip the doorknob. Turning a doorknob may seem like a small thing, but it has huge implications... Gone are the days of closing Marianne into her room for naptime and knowing that, even if she didn't sleep, she'd at least be contained till I decided to let her out. Gone is the ability to close the door to the bathroom and be able to have some privacy while using it. Gone is the possibility of closing the door to the girls' shared bedroom when Ruth is sleeping so that Marianne can't tear through the room screaming and wake her up. Gone are the mornings of Marianne pounding on the door calling, "Mom? Mommy?" while I'm still snuggled in bed trying to sleep although Marianne is awake. I could go on and on. Sure, some of the doors in the house have locks, but the thought of locking my child out of a room feels harsher than just closing a door, so I feel guilty doing it. We'll have to determine whether we need a few of those child-proofing doorknob cover things. Since the baby gate at the stairs blocks access to all doors out of the house it's not crucial that we get them. It'll be interesting to see all the ways this changes our lives.

Finally, the cats have moved out again! I did list them on craigslist, but our friends Ted and Kristy decided they wanted them, so I had to turn away some craigslist responders. Ted and Kristy already have a couple cats, or they would have taken them a month ago when we wanted to find a new home for the kitties. After some discussion, they decided they'd take this second chance at it. Nathaniel took them over yesterday, and I'm looking forward to hearing how the kitty introductions are going. I'm a little nervous, since Lula gets jumpy about new smells, especially when the smells are associated with other animals. But I'm hopeful that they'll adapt. Ted and Kristy will be great kitty-parents. Kristy, if you're reading, how's it going? :)

Tomorrow we're having dinner with Nathaniel's college roommate, DB, and his girlfriend. I'm very excited to see him. It's been over a year, I think, and he's a great guy! And another dinner out means I don't have to cook something after working all day. Hooray!

For a very small percentage of my four readers

If you, like me, waste a lot of time during your day reading people's blogs, here's something I found that I thought was a nice idea and worth sharing. Heather (not my regular commenter), from a blog previously known as Pieces of Cheese, just started a new blog, and is using it to host a small-time blog award. The new site is One Woman's World and she's looking for nominations of good, non-professional female bloggers for the contest. I'm not trying to beg nominations. In truth, I don't see that I fit any of the categories all that well, because I mostly just ramble. But if there are blogs you read that you think do fit the contest, it could be a nice way to recognize them and help them find new readers.

I've never commented on Heather's sites, but I have read her old blog a few times and it was very cute mommy stuff. That's right, I read a few more blogs than are on my list of links... It would be embarrassing to list ALL the sites I visit regularly. But if I read them frequently and they make me laugh out loud in my office a few times, I add them to the list.

I hope Sesame Street is a local call

Marianne (on her toy cell phone):

Hello? Yeah. Mmm-hmm.

(listening)

Are you playing with your rubber ducky now? You're playing with him now? Yeah. Yup.

(listening)

Big bird found you? Oh good! He found you.

(listening while, apparently, Ernie puts Big Bird on the line)

You found Ernie? Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Good.

(listening)

Okay. Have a good day. Bye!

(hangs up)

Up until now, the extent of Marianne's playing on the phone has involved her answering her toy phone, then bringing it to me and informing me that either "daddy" or "Aunt Marci" is on the line. Then she listens to my end of a fake conversation, and when I hang up, she answers and the other person (of those two options) is on the line. I'm not really sure how my sister got that sort of billing, since I probably talk to her on the phone about once every three months... but lucky Marci! Yesterday, though, Marianne had an all out conversation with Ernie and Big Bird. I was on the couch nursing Ruth at the time, and was quite literally biting my lip to keep from laughing out loud, because I was afraid that if I spooked her, it would end.

If you're not much for Sesame Street these days, there's a "Journey to Ernie" segment on the show in which Ernie hides, and Big Bird has to find him. Hence the "Big Bird found you" portion of the conversation. Oh, and all the hmmm-ing and haw-ing is my fault. I do that for real on the phone, and during my fake calls. One more thing I can be really proud to have passed on to my child.

Who was I kidding?

Make it to naptime without a tantrum? Yeah, that was likely. What really happened was the minute after I posted, I suggested that we go upstairs for lunch. Then the crying started, which turned to screaming, which resulted in kicking and a time out... eventually we were all seated around the table eating, but the drama getting there was substantial. Naptime went as smoothly as I could hope, though, and both girls are snoozing peacefully for the moment. Time to clean.

Or maybe I can finally start on the sewing project for which I purchased all the supplies about three weeks ago.

Such a beautiful day!

We just got home from an excellent trip to the park. The wind was howling at probably 30 mph or so, and the sky was overcast so it wasn't nearly as warm as the forecast indicated. Why, then, was it such a good experience? Because Marianne rode in the stroller all the way there and back and, more importantly, Ruth fell asleep just as we arrived at the park, so I was able to cover the stroller with a blanket and let her nap while Marianne and I played on the swings and slides. Ruth is not much for sleeping in strollers these days, so it was a happy day indeed! It's amazing how one small good thing can overcome a load of negative factors to result in a good trip. We even took the long way home, since she was still asleep, so I could get a little more exercise out of the walk. My hair is out of control from the wind, and my sweatshirt sleeve is covered in Marianne's snot (I forgot tissues - what kind of a mom am I?!) Oh, and the conversation Marianne struck up on the way home was one of her favorites, "Are you a bad mommy?" But I'm still in a very good mood. Now if we can get through lunch and into naptime without major tantrums, I'll have to call the whole day a success.

Jedi mind tricks

The scene: In the car with both girls fastened securely in their carseats. Ruth is rear-facing still, so I can't see her, but she's wailing like a banshee. Not at all unusual.

Me: Ruth, hey! Ruth, it's okay kiddo! Marianne, talk to your sister. It's okay, Ruth!

Marianne: Ruthie, it's okay.

Me: We're almost home. She'll be fine; she needs to calm down.

Marianne: Calm down, baby one (pet name). You'll be fine. We're almost home!

Me: Shhhh, Ruthie.

Marianne: Shhhh, Ruthie-roo. Calm down. You're okay!

Me (as the crying subsides): The force is strong in you, young Marianne.

This actually can be somewhat effective. Since Marianne can see Ruth and talk directly to her, having her big sister's attention will sometimes work to soothe her. Nowhere near the majority of the time, but it's worth a shot.

There's no place like home

I had a dream last night that we were eating dinner when I noticed the clouds to the west of us starting to swirl. "We're too close to the mountains for tornados," I said to Nathaniel. But then when I went to the window, I saw a tornado coming out of the clouds a block or so to the north of our house. "Huh, I guess we're not too close after all. Oh well, it's a pretty small tornado, and it's moving east." Nathaniel came to watch as well. But then a much larger tornado began to form and drop down, so I took the girls downstairs to the guest room and watched from that window (of course I cracked the windows on the way down so that the house wouldn't implode or explode or whatever from the pressure change). I was fully prepared to throw a mattress over myself and the girls if the tornado came near, because we don't have any rooms on the lower floor without windows. Nathaniel wouldn't come downstairs - he went in the backyard to check things out instead. Thankfully, the tornado stayed a good 20 yards from the house, and just tore down our fence. Our neighbors were upset about their destroyed fence, but we weren't, because ours was pretty much falling over before the tornado showed up anyway.

Who's from Kansas? Me? Okay, maybe... But then, if things like opening the windows to avoid extreme pressure changes and throwing mattresses over yourself for protection sound sensible, you probably are as well. Someday I will pass on these gems of wisdom to my children.

Good times. And cats.

The cats seemed right at home as soon as they were dropped off yesterday, so that's good. I re-listed them on craigslist this morning, and I already have one person interested. I'm very excited. It's a couple with three kids. I'm sure the Corby and Lula will be thrilled. I sent some pics and am hoping they'll want to meet the kitties and move on this. The cats didn't annoy me too much last night and Marianne was totally excited to see them and chase them and love them (are you hearing the voice of Elmyra from Tiny Toons yet?).

We had a great time at our get-together on Saturday night. This is after a couple rounds of board games (and drinks) in smaller groups, when we all came together for some Taboo playing around 12:30am. People were at our place till around 2:00am, I think. After Taboo we broke out the Scrabble and Scattergories(and caffeine). Woohoo! We're party animals. You'd never have guessed that there were four kids 2 years old or younger sleeping throughout the house!

As noted a few days ago, Ruth is getting to be a very big girl! Here's a shot of her standing at our window seat. She got herself into this position all by herself - it's her favorite place in the house right now. We can set her on the ground and she'll crawl to the window, stand herself up and watch the trees and neighbor kids forever. Too cute!

Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder

I just got a call from the couple who adopted our cats. The guy has been off work for a long weekend and it turns out if he's home with them for more than a day or so at a time, he really has a hard time breathing. The over-the-counter drugs and air filters aren't fixing the problem. They're bringing the cats back this afternoon. Argh.

I really hoped, when I gave the cats away, that if they did have to come back I would have discovered in their absence that I really missed the kitties. That way if they came home, I wouldn't feel compelled to give them away again. It seems so hard on them to send them to a new place and force them to adjust to a new environment. I really don't want to do it a lot of times... However, what I discovered in the absence of the kitties is that I really enjoy an absence of kitties. I guess I'll re-list them on Craig's List next week and see if I get any takers. Wish me luck. And keep your fingers crossed in the meantime that they don't destroy my pretty new slipcovers. I may pack the covers away if there's any sign of trouble.

At least Marianne will most likely be very excited when she wakes up from her nap and finds Corby and Lula in the house.

Much better

My system seems to have calmed down now and I feel like a normal functioning human. No idea what that craziness this morning was. I had lunch with a friend at work and I'm back to myself (for what that's worth). The place we went was smoky, though. Ugh! In Boulder they don't allow smoking in public places, and most restaurants at least are majority non-smoking in the metro area. This was a hole in the wall pub that was all smoking, though, and I feel gross. I mean the food was fine, but I can still smell the smoke following me around. I hate that. It can't be long before Denver bans smoking in public places as well, and I can't wait!

We're having people over for a small party AGAIN this weekend. Last weekend we had people over on Friday and Saturday night. It's not like we're so crazy about hosting parties in general, it's just that we're lazy! If we have the people to our house, then we can put the girls to sleep in their own beds and avoid the late night drive home with fussy-sleepy girls who suddenly become very awake at 2am when you try to transfer them from the car to their beds. The minute any of our friends suggest we get together on the weekend, I immediately start waving my hand in the air while jumping up and down shouting "Me! I'll host! Come to my house!!" I love putting out a nice little food display, and at least this way my house stays clean. Without the impetus of guests, I would never bother vacuuming. One of these days I'll have to let someone else host the party, though. I can't hog the hostess role forever.

Settle down!

Not you. Me.

I don't know what the deal is with me today, but I'm in a weird place. It's like I'm giddy and laughing about everything (that's only sort of strange for me, but trust me when I say that I'm doing it more today than usual), and I think I'm losing my mind. I keep forgetting things and mixing things up. I just freaked out because I noticed it was 9:30 and I hadn't pumped yet, so I grabbed my gear to head up to the privacy room in my office and halfway there I realized, wait! I don't pump till 10:00 anyway! I feed the baby at 9:00 and noon and 3:00, but I only pump twice a day, so I do that at 10:00 and 2:00. That's one example of about 30 things like that that have already happened today. Aagh! I need to get my head screwed on a little tighter...

The biggest con

I just re-read my post and realized I left off my biggest con about going to the museum. The one that had actually prompted me to blog. Way to go, me.

Instead of just adding it to the list, I decided to set it apart here, in its very own post:

- My schedule is shot to heck (I can't use even a pseudo-naughty word - my mom reads this). I'm a very schedule-oriented person, and that's an understatement. A trip to the museum means that we'll end up driving home when I'd usually be feeding the girls lunch, and since they nap after lunch, that means they're tired and will most likely fall asleep in the car. The result is that when we get home, they're totally disoriented and don't want to eat at all, let alone well. Then when I try to put them down for their real naps, that never goes well. Marianne finally fell asleep today around 3:00, which was an hour after I closed her in her room. And I don't even want to get into the fiasco that was lunch. The fact that I didn't close her in her room for a nap till 2:00 should say something (usually nap starts between 12:30 and 1:00.

There you go. That's actually the #1 reason I generally consider skipping a trip to the museum. But in the end I'm usually happy we went.

Children's museum day

For Christmas this year, my mother gave me the funds to purchase an annual pass to either the Denver Children's Museum or the Denver Zoo. I debated for a while, then opted for the museum, since it's easier to make a quick trip there without worrying about strollers and picnic lunches and the weather... With that said, though, I want to make good use of this pass. It was far from free! So I decided I should try to go at least once every 2 or 3 weeks. If I go 5 times I'll have paid it off, but that's only because the entrance free is somewhat ridiculously high in the first place. My friend Michele, who has two kids approximately the same ages as mine, lives on the far side of the city, and the Museum is a nice central meeting point for us. I'm hopeful that we'll be able to set up playdates there frequently, although that hasn't worked out well yet. Here are some of my thoughts about the pros and cons of days involving a trip to the museum, based on the few times I've been so far.

+ Great way to get some activity and fun time on a cold day since it's indoors.
+ Easy to get to and enjoy. As I mentioned, we don't need to take strollers or toys of our own or food since it's a fairly quick trip and they provide the entertainment.
+ Since I have the pass now, I don't have to stress about needing to spend several hours there to get my money's worth. We can take our time in the morning and spend a little over an hour playing at the museum, and that's just fine.
+ Age appropriate fun for even small babies, so I can keep Ruth entertained as well as Marianne.
+ Adults are generally watching out for little people underfoot, so I don't have the constant stress of other busy places that someone is likely to step on my kids if they're on the floor.
+ Good for Marianne to have that exposure to large groups of kids with whom she must share toys. She actually does really well, which surprises me given how much she hates to share her toys with Ruth.

- Ruth is a decent age to put on the floor and let play once Marianne is engaged in an area of the museum, but there's a lot of time that I still have to hold her while I try to get Marianne settled in. I take the Baby Bjorn, but then there's a lot of getting Ruth in and out, and that gets old, too.
- Getting Marianne back into her shoes and jacket and OUT of the museum is almost frustrating enough to make me not want to take her there in the first place. Almost, but not quite.
- There's a playgound outside by the parking lot. While I'm sure this will be fun in the summer, right now it makes the trip between the car and museum on both ends of the visit a huge hassle since I'm generally holding Ruth and trying to shepherd Marianne. She's not the most obedient sheep when there's a slide in sight, nevermind whether the slide happens to be covered in snow.
- "Museum" might be a stretch, depending on how you define it. It's really just several big play areas that I could probably emulate in my home if I had the desire - a supermarket area, a kitchen/playhouse area, a forest/animal puppet area. Okay, maybe I couldn't do the forest with the little rabbit tunnels and stuff at home, but I guess what I mean is that I'm not sure there's a lot of learning going on other than from a socialization standpoint.
- Other parents. I almost want to stop there to avoid getting too negative, and for the most part the other parents are fine. But here's one instance that really annoyed me - a couple weeks ago I had the girls in the 4 and under play area, where's there's a big space with a kitchen/playhouse, "apothecary shop", and a garden patch in between. There are an assortment of stuffed vegetables that go in the garden plot, but the kids pick them out and take them to the kitchen to use as food and that sort of thing. One woman, who I'm guessing was the grandmother of the girl with her, said to her 3-ish year old, "Go find some carrots to plant in the garden". I, on the other hand, had just spent five minutes telling Marianne she'd have to wait her turn because other little kids were currently playing with all the vegetables. This little girl looks a little sheepish, but at the grandmother's prompting steals a carrot from some other kids and brings it back. The grandmother, completely oblivious, says, "Good job! Now go get some more!!" and keeps harassing the kid to bring back more veggies till half the other kids were mad about having their toys stolen. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but I felt bad for her little girl since all the other kids were hating her.

Okay, that came out as a poor rating overall, which wasn't my intention - I really do like the museum a lot, and I think it's pros outweigh its cons. It's always easier to dwell on the negative.

So many reasons to be happy

1. I managed to stick to my WW points all week, despite using up my flex points in the first two days. That, combined with several walks for exercise, resulted in a couple pounds lost this week. Hooray!

2. It's tax time! I know the initial response would be to read some sarcasm into that, but if you know me very well, you won't. I love doing my taxes. I like the forms and the simple math and the fact that I've never not had a refund. This year I had a bit of a shock, actually, on my preliminary run through, as it seems we're getting a much heftier refund than expected. A big thanks to Ruth for being born and getting us an additional exemption and child tax credit this year! Nathaniel is already making plans for installing hardwood (bamboo?) floors as soon as he defends his thesis, since we should now be able to afford it.

3. Yesterday afternoon Ruth fell asleep in my lap. Non-parents may think that's commonplace for moms, but it varies greatly by baby, and tapers off quickly as the kid gets older. At this point, unless I'm nursing her, it's highly unusual for Ruth to fall asleep in my arms. Yesterday, though, I was sitting at the computer (doing my taxes) and she was getting fussy. I sat her on my lap and it was the sweetest thing... She was facing me with her legs around my middle and her arms around my chest. One minute she was watching the printer spit out some pages, and the next she rested her head on my chest and was out like a light. It was one of those moments you'd love to have last forever.

4. As of today, Nathaniel is a real paid employee of the university (not just a grad student research assistant), so he'll start getting paid real money! It's nothing earth-shattering, but enough that I'm hoping we'll be able to pay our bills this month without having to transfer a large chunk of funds from our dwindling savings account.

5. Marianne is a dancing queen. Almost literally, last night. She put on her princess costume from Halloween, turned some music on in her room, and proceeded to spin herself in circles till she could barely stand up. She loves to dance, and I can't help but crack up when I see it. What age do parents usually start sending their kids to dance classes and gymnastics, etc? Not that we'll be able to afford that, but given this kid's love of dancing, I might at least need to check into the options.

Overall, life is good! God has blessed our family in more ways than I could ever count, and I take it for granted all too often.