I'm so proud of me!

Here are a couple pictures of the dress I finished making yesterday. It's not exactly my dream dress, but I think it turned out really well, given that I had to completely rework the front panel to make it larger, but it ended up too large (either because of faulty measuring on my part or the completion of breastfeeding after the pieces were cut). With the help of some suggestions from my mom and my mother-in-law, I then took it in... Please forgive the horrible pictures. You're looking through the glare of a flash on the mirror (all the ones without the flash came out too fuzzy) plus a lot of sticky fingerprints from tiny people in my house who like to admire themselves.
I'm not sure how I feel about the sleeves, but at least I don't have to worry about my pasty, flabby arms when I wear this dress to a wedding this weekend. I added a lining to the skirt that wasn't part of the original pattern and am very glad I did. Without it, you'd be able to see straight through the skirt if I ventured into sunlight (bad, since the wedding this weekend is outside). All in all I'm very happy with the way the dress turned out.

Don't forget to take note of the adorable new shoes that I got to go with! They have been a fantastic purchase. They go with pretty much all of my summer dresses and are much more elegant than the cream slides I'd been wearing previously. Plus, super comfy! If you are in need of a new sandal, I seriously recommend these in any of the 8,000 colors offered by Nordstrom.

There's actually another reason I'm proud of myself that I want to mention, but I don't have time this morning. My boss is on her way here from LA, and I have a ton of work to get done before she shows up and causes the rest of my day to be unproductive (in a good, fun way - I love my boss!). Maybe I'll have time to write more later. If not, at least the cliff hanger will keep you checking back!

Sound bites

Marianne (at dinner, repeated for three straight nights despite our attempts at correction): Thanks for dinner, Mommy. This is the best food I never had!

*****

(I don't recall the exact context of this discussion, but this is the gist of it)

Marianne: We could go to the park today. Or whatever! If you want to.

Me (to Nathaniel, who also just heard this): "Or whatever"? Where did she get that?

Nathaniel: I don't know. Funny. Did you want to take the girls to the park today?

Me: Sure. We could. Or whatever. (said without an ounce of sarcasm, and followed by a look of pained realization)

*****

More blogging soon. Maybe even pictures. I'm almost done with a big project, so keep your eyes peeled!

Hooray for long weekends!

I'm going to be m.i.a. most of the weekend, as the way things work out with my part-time schedule and my company's holidays, I'm off from this past Wednesday till next Wednesday. Hooray!

Today naptimes have been staggered so I never get two seconds to myself. But on the upside, Marianne has managed to be almost accident free today with respect to potty-training.

For the time being, I'll sign off with a phrase I'm sure I never uttered to my mom when I was two:

If you email me at my blog, I'll check it later.

Marianne may not have the nuances quite right, but it's clear that it's a very different world we're raising our kids in today. Next week she'll be asking me for a cell phone. I mean, one that doesn't sing Elmo's World. Unless that's what she gets for her ringtone. Aagh!

Facing my fears

I have an irrational fear of boutique shops. I blame it on having seen Pretty Woman too many times, from too young an age ("Big mistake! Big! HUGE!"). Any time I'm forced to walk into a small, high priced store, all I can think is "I'm not their target market at all; they're probably laughing at me for even coming in here; there's not a thing here that will fit me/that I can afford; why bother!" Needless to say, I shop at Target and Old Navy a lot.

I've been in need of a good sports bra, though, and I've had no luck at Target. When I mentioned this to a friend of mine (yes, I was using my personal shopper again!), she sent me some links to Title Nine, a really nice women's athletic gear shop. There's a store downtown near my office, so I really wanted to go check out the bras in person, but the thought made me a little nauseous. Colorado is the least obese state in the union, so if you're me - a slightly overweight mother of two who looks like a slightly overweight mother of two - it's more than a little intimidating to head into a little boutique shop where all the employees are rock climbing, mountain biking, size 4 college students.

I finally got up the guts to go shortly after lunch. I think I was noticeably cringing when I walked in, but I found the wall of sports bras quickly enough. The girls working there could not have been any nicer or more helpful if they'd been my sisters. All of my fears were unfounded and by the end I even managed to wander around the store a little and look at some of their other wares (though it's mostly way out of my price range). Despite the fact that I'm obviously not a hard-core triathalon runner, they didn't appear to judge me at all. At least not until I was out of the store. I'm still terrified of ever going there again, but at least this once I can say I faced my fears and the result was a pretty sweet sports bra!

To help you improve your minds

Okay, more likely this will help entertain your minds rather than improve them, but here's some big news... I've added a new section to my sidebar that, until I come up with something more clever, has been labeled "A Good Read". Every time I really enjoy a book, I want to let people know about it. Now here's an easy way to do so without necessarily boring you with the details in a whole post. I'll only update it when I've read something new that I enjoyed, so it won't be often. It's not that I'm such a discerning reader. I enjoy a lot of books. I'm just not a particularly fast reader, and I don't have much time for it, what with the kids to watch and all. I do get to read for about 15 minutes on a bus to work each way, which is better than nothing. Still, it takes me a few weeks to get through a novel (sad, I know).

The most recent book I finished, How to Kill a Rock Star, was a totally random pick at the library. I only had a minute before I needed to leave, and I saw this one on an employee-recommended-books shelf so grabbed it. The first third of it was fine and I was enjoying it... then it really sucked me in and I didn't want to put it down. I almost got hit by a car at one point because I was trying to keep reading it while crossing the street from the bus to my car. I was sad when it ended because I wanted to know more. That's the sign of a good book, in my mind. I definitely plan to check out some of Tiffanie DeBartolo's other books as soon as I have a chance.

He did it!

Nathaniel defended his thesis on Friday afternoon! He gave an excellent presentation, even though I understood only about 1 word in 10, and then most of the room was kicked out while his committee grilled him on obscure science facts. Something about sulfur, but that's all I really caught when he talked about it later. The bottom line is, after some brief deliberation, his advisor came out and congratulated him on being done. After seven years of grants from NASA, funding cuts by NASA, three big projects, a lot of hard work, quite a bit of video gaming, and three hours of thesis defense, he's a doctor. I don't really know many PhDs (other than the ones he's working with now) so I'm pretty impressed. And pretty glad I snagged this guy during college. Because during all of the stresses listed above (excluding the video games), he's been an excellent husband. If he can manage to be that good a husband and father with so much work on his plate, I know he'll manage just fine as we settle into some semblance of normalcy. A job with business hours! I can hardly imagine. Congratulations, Nathaniel! I love you! I'm excited to have you back for evenings and weekends - our grass is dying and our house could use some new paint. Welcome home!

In which I ask a lot of unanswerable questions

Marianne has a truly amazing gift for remembering. Witness the following conversation:

Nathaniel (to Marianne at dinner last night): Did Ruth go to the doctor today?

Marianne: Yeah, she did.

Nathaniel: Is she okay?

Marianne: The doctor said I have a very good, healthy baby sister.

Me (in response to Nathaniel's jaw hitting the table): I told her that in the car this afternoon.

Marianne also has an impressive repertoire of songs that she can sing pretty much word for word (with tone that's improving by the day - we may just have the next Charlotte Church on our hands here!). I'm always amazed by the previous situations and conversations she can recall.

The trouble arises when she uses those memories against me. Or worse yet, she has started to lie. Is that possible? Are two year olds able to lie? The most common situation goes something like this... I'll be standing just around the corner from where Ruth and Marianne are playing. First, I'll hear sounds of discontent from Marianne. "That's mine, Ruth!" or "Don't touch that!" Next, I'll hear a thud or thwack, then Ruth starts to cry/scream. "Marianne, what happened?" I'll ask, trying to sound unaccusatory until I get the full story. "She just bumped her head." This is the number one most often given excuse from Marianne. I've watched the scenario above unfold countless times now, and generally what really happens is that Marianne pinches Ruth's hand or Marianne pushes Ruth down. But since Marianne has seen Ruth fall over on her own and "bump her head" numerous times, she thinks that's a safe way of getting out of the blame. What she doesn't realize is that Ruth is growing up and so very seldom falls over on her own these days. If Ruth does "bump her head", it's probably the result of a big sister pushing her to the ground.

What I want to know is, what's actually going through Marianne's head? My explanation above is my best guess, but is her little brain truly developed far enough for that sort of logic? Does she really think to herself "If I admit I pushed/pinched her, I'll have to go to time out... but she bumps her head all the time, so I'll just blame it on that!" If so, wow. I'm impressed by her excuse creating skills. But how do I explain to her that I know what really happened (moms do, after all, have those eyes in the backs of their heads; not to mention the ability to see through walls and around corners) and that she's still going to be punished for it, even if she doesn't admit to it? How do I make her fess up?

Sheesh. This parenting stuff - it is challenging! Especially when it's all new to me with this first kid. Those of you with grown children can stop laughing now, as I know full well it's only going to get harder before it gets easier.

*****

On an unrelated note, why, WHY?!, must all of my shirts come out of the wash bearing mysterious grease stains? Why don't I see these spots before the shirts go into the washer and dryer? Is there something in the machines actually causing the stains? Or am I so messy all the time that I just don't notice, while wearing the clothes, that I've spilled olive oil down my front?

I honestly don't think I have more than two casual shirts without at least one stain on them. Is there anything I can do, now that the stains are washed and set in, to get rid of them? Should I be putting some magical detergent in each load to take care of the stains before I even know they exist? Are all of my clothes destined to be rags within a week of my purchasing them? Thoughts? Ideas? Anyone? Every time I fold of load of laundry I see some new shirt ruined, and I just can't take it anymore.

Now, for the sentimental stuff

I'm happy to have reaffirmed that I have at least a few regular readers, since that last post elicited several comments. The couple of you who posted actual guesses at the pictures of Ruth got them correct. Well done! I think the skin tone was a give away throughout - Marianne has been very fair since day one, while Ruth has darker coloring. Plus, in the first picture, one of those kids weighed in at 7lbs 2oz, and the other was 9lbs 3oz. That's a noticeable difference in robustness of a newborn. Kate made a good point on the ears, as well. I'm not sure I'd ever really noticed Marianne's little poking out ears, but they do show up consistently!

Since we celebrated Ruth's big day while our family was in town over the weekend, yesterday felt a little low-key for such a major event. That didn't stop me from hugging and squeezing Ruth every chance I got and telling her how much I love her. She is truly a great baby. She's had her times of neediness, and she can be noisy as a banshee, but I am amazed every day by how quickly Ruth is growing up. Her appearance has transitioned in the past couple months from baby to little girl. She's a better walker now than her sister was on her birthday (not that I'd ever compare my kids). She'll cross the room, make turns around corners, and generally cruise around the house. She usually still ends in a fall when her speed gets away from her, but she's improving daily.

Yesterday, Marianne, Ruth and I celebrated the day by going to the mall where Marianne helped Ruth build a bear. Marianne got one for her first birthday and he's now the much-loved "brown bear" required at bedtime every night. "Brown bear" got a new shirt while we were there, as well. It probably sounds lame, but it's quality time for me with the girls, and we enjoyed it! Ruth spent the rest of the afternoon torn between cuddling with her bear, and cuddling with her mommy. I know all the cuddles can't last much longer, but Ruth is so good at it. She abandons herself in my arms, and I try to lock those moments away in my memory for later because I know I'll need them to fall back on when she's 15 and "No you may NOT wear that outfit out of the house, young lady. Go change!" results in tears and insults flung my way. (I'm sure I'm not the only mother of girls praying for some major changes to fashion trends before my babies grow up.)

I've recently seen a new side of the Ruth. I like to call it the "victimized baby sister". She's already mastered a lot of my old tricks (since I was the baby of two girls, I see it clearly). If Marianne steals her toy, she starts screaming like she's being stepped on. Then, the minute I make Marianne give the toy back with her apologies, Ruth turns on her smug "that's right - it's MINE" grin, and walks away pushing the shopping cart or whatever toy was in question. I can see where this is headed, and it's making me a little nervous for the future.

Soon Ruth will be talking and running and using silverware. Soon she and her sister will be able to push each other on the swingset and their need for me will start to decrease in a million ways I can't yet comprehend. But for now, Ruthie, you're only one. You need me still, and you want me all the time. I love you, baby girl!

Happy Birthday to Marianne's favorite little "Roofy-doo'le bug"

I find it very hard to believe that my SECOND child is already turning one! It helps that my first child is still only about two and a half, I guess, but that really doesn't make it much easier to comprehend that somewhere in my lifetime I managed to become the mother of two beautiful baby girls, and they're both growing up more quickly than I imagined possible.

In honor of Ruth's birthday, I thought I'd offer up a little "who's-who" game for you. For the most part these are probably easy to pick. Seldom has anyone claimed that my daughters look much alike. However, I think you may find there's more similarity than you realized when you ignore how much more grown up Marianne is now.

For the sake of labeling, let's just call the first picture in each pair "a" and the second "b". So when you guess it can look something like "The pictures of Ruth are a,b,b,a,a". Or whatever. I'm writing this before picking out the photos, so don't expect my answers to be correct. Or incorrect, for that matter. Just guess! And if you think it's a silly idea for a game because it's so simple, just think of it as twice as many cute pictures.









I know, it's not the sentimental post you probably expected for my baby's birthday, but I already did that once when she turned 9 months.

Graduation photos

I'm sure I'll have more to say about all of this once I'm not so swamped with work. For now, here are some photos of this weekend's fun.

Marianne helping Nathaniel get ready for his "hooding". The only reaction she gave to the goofy hat was a single, "You want to take it off now, Daddy?"

And now with the "hood" (the neck thing - it's fancier in back, but I didn't get any good pictures of the full academic ensemble). That'll be "Dr. and Mrs.", thank you very much!

Nathaniel with all his proud ladies. Ruth is so impressed she can hardly keep her eyes open.

Later in the weekend, I tried to make Marianne take a nap prior to Nathaniel's graduation party. Instead, she found a stash of stickers and took it upon herself to use them well. I think she's learned her lesson about how stickers shouldn't always be used directly on skin, as the removal of these was no fun for anyone involved.

I have more to add from Ruth's early birthday celebration, but those will have to wait as blogger is having technical difficulty with adding photos... For now, that's all you get.

Warning - sporadic posting ahead

I have a couple crazy weeks ahead of me, what with Nathaniel's graduation, his thesis defense, a house full of guests for four days and a mixed up work schedule to accompany the rest. So here's fair warning: if you don't see regular posts from me, don't be surprised. I'll write when I have time or when anything especially entertaining happens.

In the meantime, here's a little something for your enjoyment...
Marianne is very into playing with hair. Maybe that's the result of her own unruly hair and the fact that before she can sit down to a bowl of cereal in the morning I have to put at least a couple barrettes in it to keep it out of her food. (Sudden flashback to my life right up till I left for college and my mother's voice saying, "Staci, get your hair our of your food!" at every meal). I could cut Marianne's hair, but it's so pretty!

Besides, this is a like a dream come true for me. Surely I'm not the only girl here who loves few things as much as having someone play with her hair. The fact that my daughter will now sit behind me brushing my hair and putting barrettes in it for 10 or 15 minutes straight (yeah, that's a lot of barrettes) is fantastic! It means that I wear my hair in a ponytail more often these days, since brushing my hair does NOT result in something you'd want to see later, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice. You know, for my kid.

As an added bonus I get to hear Marianne quote the things I say to her all the time while I fix her hair. Things like, "That can't be owwie, Mommy. Barrettes don't hurt." and "Just hold still for oooooonnnne more minute!"

It's all in how she sees it

Last night we had dinner at a friend's house that, for Marianne, involved:

- One head on collision with a three year old boy, leaving a bruised welt on her forehead.
- At least three instances of running head first into doors/sofas/bars quickly enough to knock herself over.
- At least three crying tantrums over not wanting to share toys with the other kids or my lap with Ruth.
- One crying tantrum over being denied a second helping of ice cream.

Marianne's first comment in the car, as we pulled away from the home:

"Mommy, that was fun!"

I stand corrected

First, a little confession: I've always thought that it was a bit of a cop-out when I heard a mother say that her baby "weaned itself" or that the baby chose to "give up nursing". So it's really the baby's own fault that it was switched off breastmilk to formula? I mean, baby's eat. There's not much difference between taking bottle or breast, so if the baby's hungry, it'll eat what you give it. Maybe it's more effort for everyone, because the baby gets distracted and the mom has to try and get it to focus. Maybe the mom just doesn't get that the baby gets more efficient over time, so needs less time to take in a good nursing, and instead thinks that the baby isn't eating long enough to get enough. Whatever the case, I've always thought that if you honestly wanted your baby to keep nursing, you could make it happen with a little effort. The moms involved maybe sort of wanted to stop nursing anyway, and a change in eating pattern was an easy excuse for those moms to make the switch to bottle feeding. There would be nothing wrong with that if it was the case. (I hope I didn't offend any of my friends). It's no secret that I'm a big fan of breast-feeding, but I know everyone has their own reasons for choosing what they do, and it's a very personal choice. I'm just saying I didn't think you could totally blame the baby for making some conscious decision to refuse breastmilk, when more effort on the part of the mom might have remedied the situation. But really, that's all of little importance, because those comments are what I thought three days ago, with only my experiences with Marianne as backup.

As of today, I stand corrected. Ruth decided a couple days ago that she no longer wants to nurse. Not at night to lull her off to sleep. Not first thing in the morning, when she hardly even has to wake up as I feed her then put her back to bed before leaving for work. And sure as heck not midday after her nap, in my effort to keep just a little bit more super-healthy breastmilk in her diet. Not only is she not interested and squirmy when I try to nurse her, but if I push the issue, she puts that mouth full of chompers of hers to good use in a way that settles the issue on the spot. I've now seen firsthand as a baby chose to stop nursing. It was like a switch was flipped. She ate fine that morning, but then decided later in the day that no breastmilk was needed. A sippy cup of milk or water? Great! Nursing? No thanks.

Sure, if she were only 4 or 6 months old, I would be more concerned about this change and probably fight the battle a little harder. (I might even have bothered pumping during those missed feedings in an effort to keep my supply up). Seeing as how she's just a couple weeks away from her first birthday, eats mostly solid foods in good varieties of fruits and veggies, and already takes some milk with meals... And seeing as how my milk supply had been dwindling to the point that I was thinking her afternoon feeding would likely be eliminated any day now anyway... I've thrown in the towel.

For the first time in well over three years, I'm neither pregnant nor nursing, and it's an interesting mix of emotions for me. I'm a little sad, since I had planned to have another 4-6 weeks of the cuddly, sweet first-thing and last-thing of the day nursings with my baby girl. Mostly, though, it's exciting. It's the first time in a long time I don't have to think too hard about how the food I'm eating could affect someone else (not that I let it hold me back much, but you know what I'm saying). I can be away from home without being constrained to when the next feeding is. I love nursing my babies for that first year, but that doesn't mean it's always fun and games.

On the downside, my Weight Watcher diet plan just became much more challenging. As a nursing mom, I got to eat almost half again as much food as the normal woman on the plan. I just lost nearly a THIRD of my points for each day. I'm not picturing this week going so smoothly.

Sound bites

Marianne (in the car, on the way home from buying a baby gift for some friends this morning): I have a baby in my tummy!

Me: No. Not yet, kiddo. Not for a long, long time, when you're a much bigger girl!

Marianne: When I'm big enough to sit in the front? In the driving seat?

Me: Uh, no. Sixteen is not quite what I was thinking.

Marianne: When I'm big enough to buckle myself into my seat?

Me: I think we're losing ground, here.

*****

Marianne (at dinner tonight, apparently still fixating on the idea of getting bigger): Mommy, when I get bigger, and you get smaller, I'll carry you down to the car and put you in the Marianne seat.

Me: That's not exactly how it works.

Marianne: I will, Mommy! I'll carry you when I get bigger and you get smaller.

Me: I'll take it. Thanks, baby.

Craftiness and dinnertime fun

Note: There was trouble with the video at first, but it has been fixed. If you couldn't view it earlier, try now!

First things first, here's my maiden voyage into the You Tube world. This little video is fairly representative of dinner table talk at our house. Please set your volume low or wait till you're not at work to watch.

Dinnertime Discussions
(or, Future Rocket Scientists of America)



I think that's a nice introduction to life with children for those of you who don't have your own yet. I can't imagine why lately it seems like my already poor hearing has been getting worse.

*****

Now for a craft update, because I'm so proud of myself with respect to my dress-making abilities! It just goes to show that a semester of home economics in junior high school can really pay off down the road.

As you may recall, I'm making a dress because I can't afford the one I'm in love with, and it didn't fit me right anyway. For the past couple weeks I've had all the supplies on hand, and have worked on the dress in 10 minute increments whenever both girls happen to be asleep and I don't have a laundry list of other more pressing things to do. Like laundry. I made some good progress this weekend, though, so I thought I would share some pictures of the dress in the making. I'm almost confident enough to say that it's going to fit on my body (no comments on how attractive it will be) when completed, but since I haven't started the skirt yet, that's probably premature.

Here's a picture of the fabric before I started cutting:

Now here's the piece I completed last night:

Pay special attention to this part of the bodice:

No, not the corner of flabby arm that's showing. The side dart. "But that's just a side dart!" you say? True. However that dart didn't exist on the original pattern. In fact, the whole front of the bodice had to be re-designed to fit me. (I'm purposely avoiding key terms that would result in some undesirable google search hits, so sorry if my terminology is vague). Thanks to some phone consultations with my mom, I was able to re-draw the pattern piece for the front and add some darts so that it will still match up to the back pieces well. I'm very happy with how well it turned out so far. It may all fall apart yet, though. Check back for more updates as time allows me to sew. The pattern said "Quick and Easy" (so much for avoiding tasteless google searches) so I'm sure the dress will be done in no time. Ha!