A month later and a couple inches taller

I have been meaning to post an update on Marianne's surgery every day for the last three weeks. What better time to finally do it than when I really ought to be (and need to be) wrapping Christmas gifts! I'll type as quickly as I can and maybe I can get both things done during nap time today.

Bottom line: Everything is going great! Thank you for all your prayers, well wishes, care packages, meals, etc. We are so well cared for by our community of friends and family. People came out of the woodwork to brighten Marianne's day and lighten my load. I was and still am in awe.

The day of surgery was long and stressful. Although, as we sat in the lobby of Children's waiting for each update from the nurse, part of me dreaded the end of surgery when they'd wake Marianne up and I'd have to start caring for a child in pain. Does that make sense? It was a feeling I hadn't anticipated, the "don't let them be done yet!" feeling, because I was so nervous for how I would manage.

Marianne's week in the hospital continued to be long and stressful. Days were long. Nights were long. She was in a lot of pain when awake. But she was mostly asleep. I didn't feel like I could ever really leave except for a couple short breaks when my in-laws and Nathaniel popped in, and then I felt anxious to get back. The nurses and medical folks were almost all wonderful; some were even more wonderful than others. I did great for about two days then at some point very early one morning I just burst into tears and that day was especially long because the dam had cracked, you know? But I re-found my cool and we got through it.

They considered sending us home on Thursday but I was NOT ready to deal with Marianne on my own, and it turned out she couldn't get far enough through her physical therapy for the therapist to sign her out anyway. By Friday I think they were going to toss us out, ready or not, but I felt less panicky and more prepared.

The first week at home was still pretty long and stressful (notice a trend?), but, as noted, we were well cared for. I saw quickly that visits from Marianne's friends were a sure fire way to perk her up and get her motivated to get up and move (not that she was getting up and moving around them, but at least she'd work on it when no one was watching in the hopes of getting back to school eventually). We'd have good days, followed by days of terrible pain and soreness from the body's shock at the activity the day prior. Most nights around bedtime there were tears and "I'm never going to be able to be normal again" sadness and I spent a lot of time rubbing the sides of her back and offering soothing remarks that she'd shoot back at with anger and frustration. It wasn't fun, but I think it has been a bonding experience for us, so there's that.

A couple weeks out, things finally made a big turn. We'd been weaning off the prescription pain meds, and really I was in awe at how quickly she was able to cut back during the days (nights took longer). Suddenly, though she still spent most of her time in bed, she'd surprise me by walking into the room I was in without having called for help to get up. Or I'd pop into her room and find she'd rearranged her things, or brought books to her bed to do homework, or set up a nail salon and painted all her siblings nails (usually I'd smell that one before I saw it).

At three and a half weeks she made her first, hour long visit back to school. I saw her into the classroom and then bit back tears as I walked away. They were joyful tears, but also anxious tears, knowing that if she hurt, she'd never tell anyone, because that's how junior high is. As it happens, though, she did great. Last week, four weeks post-surgery, she started back to school for half days (really just over two hours a day), just in time to take all her finals. The teachers were incredibly generous with the work they let her off the hook from, and thankfully she kept up well enough that finals didn't cause her much stress. She made it to a couple of choir rehearsals last week so she was able to participate in the 5th-8th grade Christmas program, of which I took zero decent photos. This week she considered going back full days, as she spends the majority of her time on her feet, or at least upright, most days now, but opted in the end to stick to half days. She should have no problem going back to school full time after Christmas break.

If you'd asked me a week or ten days after surgery whether I thought that would be the case - that she'd be able to go back to school full time at the start of the new year - I'd have heaved a heavy sigh and said I just didn't know. She couldn't walk two houses down the block and back without leaning on me and crying from the pain. Now, she manages all sorts of feats I was not sure when she'd be able to again. She made waffles for dinner the other night, and asked to bake cookies another day. She sat on the floor and wrapped her gifts to her siblings, then helped Rachel wrap hers. She and Ruth (with a little assistance from Nathaniel) hung our outdoor Christmas lights in freezing cold temps, because they just felt like it. Every time she asks to take on a project like that it warms my heart, because there were many days of "No. I don't want to get up," in response to simple requests like, "Let's go take a little walk to the living room and back."

Because I find them insane and amazing and mind boggling, here are a few xray images. The first is the "before" xray of her spine from the front. The second is the "after" image taken at her one month follow up appointment last Friday. The third is also from the follow up, from the side, so you get a sense of the posture she's required to have now that her spine is fused. She's sits up very, very straight. All the time. Because she cannot slouch. How many utterances of "sit up straight!" have I saved myself? The world will never know.

These were taken with my phone, from the computer screen at the doctor's office, so quality is poor. A couple notes - in the middle photo, the metal rods stand out starkly and made the spine look straighter than it is - if you look closely you can see there is still some curve, probably around 20 degrees. But the improvement is vast, and wonderful. Look at her collarbones, and how much better aligned and upright they are!

So yes! She's doing great! We're doing great! I can't wait to get decent photos of her (and the rest of the fam, of course) over the holidays that I can share. She looks amazing and grew about two inches, which puts her firmly back in her rightful place as "taller than Ruth". These are critical things when you're a 13 year old.

Thank you again - I can't thank you enough - for all your prayers and help over the past month. I have no doubt there will be challenges ahead resulting from this surgery, possibly mostly in the form of teenage angst and attitude, but I'm grateful to be on the other side of it.

One minor prayer request as she approaches the end of this main phase of healing. There's a small portion of the incision on her lower back that hasn't healed as cleanly as the rest - the official term is "dehiscence", I believe. It should be and will be fine, but she finds it ridiculously hard to keep HER hands off of it because it itches like crazy (read: "quit picking at it!") and while it's still scabbing and opening, it's a risk for infection. Please say a little prayer that she can control herself and that the incision will finish healing without any additional challenges and without infection. Thank you!