A month later and a couple inches taller

I have been meaning to post an update on Marianne's surgery every day for the last three weeks. What better time to finally do it than when I really ought to be (and need to be) wrapping Christmas gifts! I'll type as quickly as I can and maybe I can get both things done during nap time today.

Bottom line: Everything is going great! Thank you for all your prayers, well wishes, care packages, meals, etc. We are so well cared for by our community of friends and family. People came out of the woodwork to brighten Marianne's day and lighten my load. I was and still am in awe.

The day of surgery was long and stressful. Although, as we sat in the lobby of Children's waiting for each update from the nurse, part of me dreaded the end of surgery when they'd wake Marianne up and I'd have to start caring for a child in pain. Does that make sense? It was a feeling I hadn't anticipated, the "don't let them be done yet!" feeling, because I was so nervous for how I would manage.

Marianne's week in the hospital continued to be long and stressful. Days were long. Nights were long. She was in a lot of pain when awake. But she was mostly asleep. I didn't feel like I could ever really leave except for a couple short breaks when my in-laws and Nathaniel popped in, and then I felt anxious to get back. The nurses and medical folks were almost all wonderful; some were even more wonderful than others. I did great for about two days then at some point very early one morning I just burst into tears and that day was especially long because the dam had cracked, you know? But I re-found my cool and we got through it.

They considered sending us home on Thursday but I was NOT ready to deal with Marianne on my own, and it turned out she couldn't get far enough through her physical therapy for the therapist to sign her out anyway. By Friday I think they were going to toss us out, ready or not, but I felt less panicky and more prepared.

The first week at home was still pretty long and stressful (notice a trend?), but, as noted, we were well cared for. I saw quickly that visits from Marianne's friends were a sure fire way to perk her up and get her motivated to get up and move (not that she was getting up and moving around them, but at least she'd work on it when no one was watching in the hopes of getting back to school eventually). We'd have good days, followed by days of terrible pain and soreness from the body's shock at the activity the day prior. Most nights around bedtime there were tears and "I'm never going to be able to be normal again" sadness and I spent a lot of time rubbing the sides of her back and offering soothing remarks that she'd shoot back at with anger and frustration. It wasn't fun, but I think it has been a bonding experience for us, so there's that.

A couple weeks out, things finally made a big turn. We'd been weaning off the prescription pain meds, and really I was in awe at how quickly she was able to cut back during the days (nights took longer). Suddenly, though she still spent most of her time in bed, she'd surprise me by walking into the room I was in without having called for help to get up. Or I'd pop into her room and find she'd rearranged her things, or brought books to her bed to do homework, or set up a nail salon and painted all her siblings nails (usually I'd smell that one before I saw it).

At three and a half weeks she made her first, hour long visit back to school. I saw her into the classroom and then bit back tears as I walked away. They were joyful tears, but also anxious tears, knowing that if she hurt, she'd never tell anyone, because that's how junior high is. As it happens, though, she did great. Last week, four weeks post-surgery, she started back to school for half days (really just over two hours a day), just in time to take all her finals. The teachers were incredibly generous with the work they let her off the hook from, and thankfully she kept up well enough that finals didn't cause her much stress. She made it to a couple of choir rehearsals last week so she was able to participate in the 5th-8th grade Christmas program, of which I took zero decent photos. This week she considered going back full days, as she spends the majority of her time on her feet, or at least upright, most days now, but opted in the end to stick to half days. She should have no problem going back to school full time after Christmas break.

If you'd asked me a week or ten days after surgery whether I thought that would be the case - that she'd be able to go back to school full time at the start of the new year - I'd have heaved a heavy sigh and said I just didn't know. She couldn't walk two houses down the block and back without leaning on me and crying from the pain. Now, she manages all sorts of feats I was not sure when she'd be able to again. She made waffles for dinner the other night, and asked to bake cookies another day. She sat on the floor and wrapped her gifts to her siblings, then helped Rachel wrap hers. She and Ruth (with a little assistance from Nathaniel) hung our outdoor Christmas lights in freezing cold temps, because they just felt like it. Every time she asks to take on a project like that it warms my heart, because there were many days of "No. I don't want to get up," in response to simple requests like, "Let's go take a little walk to the living room and back."

Because I find them insane and amazing and mind boggling, here are a few xray images. The first is the "before" xray of her spine from the front. The second is the "after" image taken at her one month follow up appointment last Friday. The third is also from the follow up, from the side, so you get a sense of the posture she's required to have now that her spine is fused. She's sits up very, very straight. All the time. Because she cannot slouch. How many utterances of "sit up straight!" have I saved myself? The world will never know.

These were taken with my phone, from the computer screen at the doctor's office, so quality is poor. A couple notes - in the middle photo, the metal rods stand out starkly and made the spine look straighter than it is - if you look closely you can see there is still some curve, probably around 20 degrees. But the improvement is vast, and wonderful. Look at her collarbones, and how much better aligned and upright they are!

So yes! She's doing great! We're doing great! I can't wait to get decent photos of her (and the rest of the fam, of course) over the holidays that I can share. She looks amazing and grew about two inches, which puts her firmly back in her rightful place as "taller than Ruth". These are critical things when you're a 13 year old.

Thank you again - I can't thank you enough - for all your prayers and help over the past month. I have no doubt there will be challenges ahead resulting from this surgery, possibly mostly in the form of teenage angst and attitude, but I'm grateful to be on the other side of it.

One minor prayer request as she approaches the end of this main phase of healing. There's a small portion of the incision on her lower back that hasn't healed as cleanly as the rest - the official term is "dehiscence", I believe. It should be and will be fine, but she finds it ridiculously hard to keep HER hands off of it because it itches like crazy (read: "quit picking at it!") and while it's still scabbing and opening, it's a risk for infection. Please say a little prayer that she can control herself and that the incision will finish healing without any additional challenges and without infection. Thank you!

Marianne's surgery - a smattering of prayer requests

Some background and updates and prayer requests, in case some of you haven't heard what we have going down around here...

I mentioned in passing back in July that Marianne was diagnosed with fairly severe scoliosis and had surgery to look forward to in her future. At the time, we thought it would be a couple of years out. After consulting with a pediatric orthopedic specialist at Children's Hospital, however, the plan changed. Good thing I didn't get her in for that brace fitting any sooner - saved ourselves some money and effort with that bit of procrastination!

This coming Monday, Marianne will undergo posterior spinal fusion surgery. The majority of her spine will be fused as straight as possible (still not super straight... but the doctor said it would be a vast improvement) and rods will be screwed to the spine to hold it in place as it heals. The surgery itself is expected to last around seven hours. There are, of course, a whole slew of risks when someone's whole back is opened up, but the doctor's biggest concern is the risk of infection. Please pray that the surgery goes smoothly and successfully and that Marianne comes through the recovery free of infection and with strong motivation to get back on her feet quickly. 

The current expectation is that she will be in the hospital till Thursday or Friday, and then home but out of school recovering till at least her follow up appointment on 12/6. Please pray for all of us during this time - her, for her healing and for a positive, optimistic attitude; me, that I can assist her in the ways she needs to best heal, and encourage and serve her through this. It promises to be very different from my experiences in motherhood to date. Hopefully it's a bonding experience and not solely a battle. 

After her follow up, she'll most likely return to school part time for a while before returning full time. Given the holiday break shortly after her return to school, I hope things will go smoothly and by January she should be on her feet and fully back to school with the exception of PE and sports. Oh, and band. She resigned from the trombone a few weeks ago, at least for the remainder of the year, because playing an instrument so heavy is off her options for several months. She was surprisingly bummed about it, given how much she complained about playing the thing every day since she first started in 5th grade. She also suddenly is disappointed that she's unable to try out Jr High basketball this winter. Nevermind when I suggested back in the summer that she might want to give basketball a shot, she scoffed at the idea. The grass is always greener, isn't it?

A few other surgery notes:

- SEVEN HOURS. We check in at 5:30am, and the surgery begins around 7:30, although the doctor said most likely the first incision wouldn't happen till 8 or 8:30 because of all the prep. That is going to be a loooooonnnnnnng day, folks. I think it's the part I'm dreading most for myself, because the waiting and wondering what's going on with my (teenage) baby, and just the WAITING. I don't like waiting. Say some prayers for our peace of mind while you're praying for Marianne's successful surgery. Thankfully, Nathaniel was able to take the day off to sit and wait with me, and my dear friend is planning to stop in for a visit, and my mom will be at my house holding down the fort so I don't have to give a second thought to that. Still, it's going to be long.

- The rods will be left in permanently, barring unforeseen complications. I had always assumed the rods were in permanently because they continue to be needed to support the spine, but I've learned that within the first year the spine has fully fused and supports itself, so the rods become superfluous. The surgery to remove them would be so invasive, however, and require all this recovery time again, so the doctors prefer to leave them in place unless complications arise.

- She'll come home on meds more impressive than any I've ever been prescribed. Please pray that we can manage her pain well, and that she'll be able to wean off the heavy drugs within a few weeks and continue to manage her pain with milder options. I have read a handful of horrible stories about chronic nerve pain after this type of surgery, but have been comforted by many counter-stories and by the surgeon we're working with. Still, I'm anxious. She is not currently in any major discomfort from her scoliosis, but two excellent orthopedic surgeons and a couple other medical professionals have all agreed that given the speed of development of her scoliosis and the specific way the curves are developing, THIS is the right time to move forward with surgery. The idea that I'm putting Marianne into significantly worse pain, even knowing it's for her future benefit, has weighed heavily on me. So, say a little prayer for Nathaniel and me as well. This is really no fun.

- Her surgeon said that she'll have full use of her arms and legs and therefore may have an "easier recovery than someone who'd broken his leg or arm unexpectedly". That seems overly simplified to me, but gave me great comfort, anyway. She'll need help getting up out of a chair for a while, he said, but once up will be able to walk and do stairs. She will not bend in the same way, but can look forward, I guess, to good overall flexibility? I say that with some skepticism only because I can't envision it. How does one bend over and tie her shoes when her spine can't curve? He tells us she'll learn to accommodate the stiffness. It's a bit of a mystery. For the past month, every time I think, "My back is stiff" and give a little bend-shrug-twist-stretch to ease it, I have the follow up thought, "Wait! Will she never be able to execute any of those moves?!" I'm curious to see how this all plays out.

- On a slightly humorous note, and one that surprised me, the doctor said one of the trickiest bits - and part of the reason it takes so long to make the first incision - is getting the incision straight. Because if he cuts a straight incision, then does all this work to her spine, when he goes to stitch her back up the incision will be crazy and curvy. He has to try to estimate how his spinal adjustments will affect akin around the incision, and cut accordingly, in the hopes that as he's stitching at the end, it's straight. Because while right now, today, I might not think I care much about that, he knows that down the road, Marianne will prefer the straightest, least noticeable incision possible. I'm glad I have other people to think about these things, because it never would have crossed my mind.

Thank you to everyone who's been praying since we first started investigating Marianne's scoliosis back in the spring! Your prayers have been a great comfort and I know we - she especially - has been lifted up and allowed to float through this on your prayers with significantly less anxiety and drama than I'd anticipated. Thank you, also, for all the generous friends and family who've sent care packages, or made plans to do so while she's in the hospital and after, to help keep her spirits high. I am forever in awe of the beauty of the community we live in and the family we are blessed with!

Deep breath. Here we go...

Halloween 2016

(Look at me, posting twice in one day!)

Happy Halloween!

We had a "hero" theme this year, mostly because the costumes were easy to procure and Rachel has been asking to be Supergirl for months, so I figured I may as well roll with it.

Cutest little Supergirl in town!

Spiderman, obviously. He's holding the full-head  mask, which is just a terrible idea. It quickly got all breathy and damp. Gross.

Batgirl! Now with added spunk-power!

Wonder Woman. She didn't really care who she ended up with, and this one was the easiest to find in a bigger kid size that wasn't inappropriate. It turned out to come with the most accessories (crown, cuffs, armband) so she loved it!

The least obvious, but still a hero - Katniss Everdeen (Hunger Games). A big "thank you" to Aunt Mary for the loan of of the jacket and boots. All I had to buy was the Mockingjay lapel pin. I love a costume like this! It would have worked better with Ruth's hair for a long braid, but she didn't volunteer to cut a chunk off for us, so we did our best without.

The whole Hero Squad! I've never felt so safe on a Halloween night, as I did with this crew of do-gooders roaming the streets.

High speed catch up so we can get on with the latest!

Here's the thing. It's been something akin to three months since my last blog post, and as the days ticked by, the weight of all the things I felt like blogging about or felt I ought to blog about piled up and up and at some point, blogging didn't sound fun anymore so I just didn't.

BUT!

We've just returned home from a fifteen day adventure out west, and I can't wait to regale you with my photos and stories.

Before I force you onto the sofa, dim the lights and fire up the slideshow player, though, here's a quick run down of things you didn't get to hear about these past many moons:

~ I turned 39. It was one of the most amazing birthdays of my life, truly! 40 is destined to be a let down, but I'm okay with that. I was overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends, who all chipped in and gifted me a large chunk of change so that I could refresh my living room with new slipcovers, a rug, curtains, fresh paint and, above all, throw pillows to my heart's content! You've likely seen some windows into the brightening up process via instagram, but you haven't seen official before and after pictures yet, because it's not yet done. The paint is still sitting by my kitchen door waiting for the right moment. I foresee that moment coming while the kids are in KC visiting my folks a couple weeks from now. I'll keep you posted.

~ There was a band concert in which both Ruth and Marianne played, on trumpet and trombone, respectively. There was also Ruth's piano recital, at which she performed a solo piece and two duets with our neighbor, Nicole. The duets were a fun treat to hear played, after hearing only Ruth's half of the piece for weeks. I have videos of the piano recital if anyone desperately wants to watch it. Or just ask Ruth to play her solo piece for you sometime. She's generally happy to oblige. She's looking forward to piano again in the fall. Meg will begin taking lessons then. Both the older girls will carry on (slightly against their wills) in band, too. Oh, there was a Spring Program for vocal music in the mix, as well! So many performances as the school year wrapped up.

~ Ruth finished the inaugural year of Chess Club at St. T's in last place, but with full marks for sportsmanship. Nathaniel is convinced, after watching the final tournament, that with a little training in strategy she could beat the majority of the kids in the club next year. We'll see how that plays out. I'm proud of her for sticking with it, enthusiastically even, despite never winning. That's a sign of true character.

~ Marianne and Ruth both played on extraordinarily successful (for any Y teams our kids have ever played on) recreational volleyball teams, and Nathaniel coached Meg's micro-soccer team. Our weekends were hopping for a few weeks, there!

~ Another year of school finished splendidly. Strong grades, happy kids, onward to summer! Peter "graduated" preK and will be in all day, every day Kindergarten next year. (Side note: he's learned to read this spring and summer, and it's such a treat! Just tonight he read his own bedtime story to me. I mean, it was "Bathtime for Biscuit", so he's not reading chapter books to himself like Meg was at this stage, but he's still rocking this whole learning thing!)

~ I almost skipped one! Ruth again! She had a birthday. Crazy kid went and turned 11. She's a joy, truly. Our running joke this summer goes like this - whenever Ruth heads outside to do something (climb a tree, roller skate, etc), I call out, "Be careful!" and she replies, "I always am!" usually just seconds before she tumbles down the stairs or falls from something high or the like. But she does always manage to jump back up and keep moving. I love that kid! For her birthday, we had a "Mario Kart" tournament in which all the cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents participated. It was hilarious! I made Smitten Kitchen's "I want chocolate cake Cake" which was fabulous. And she got a "coupon" (made by me) to take a couple of friends to "Defy Gravity", one of those places where the whole floor is covered in trampolines. She was in heaven.

~ Marianne and Ruth each attended SKY Camp (Catholic Summer (K)Camp for Youth). It was the first sleep-away camp for Ruth, Marianne's second year. They explicitly asked NOT to attend the same session, so I jumped through some hoops to make sure they'd each have a few friends at different camps, but not the same one. Some siblings would want to go together, I suppose... I agreed with them that they'd be better off on their own.

~ Marianne has undergone a series of scoliosis testing, which will culminate in an absurdly long MRI next week to rule out anything the doctors haven't seen yet. What they have seen is some very severe curvature. Her spine is a crazy S shape with major curves that will require her to have surgery in a couple years to have rods installed. {sigh} On the upside, knowing that she'll have the surgery lightens our need to worry about bracing now, because it wouldn't do much good. She will get a brace later this summer that she'll have to wear part time, but we think it'll be mostly at home, rather than all day at school where it would be much more of a battle for us and an embarrassment to her. Keep her in your prayers as we continue in this process!

~ All the kids had eye exams and they've all got 20/20 vision or better. Mostly better. Hooray for that one genetic win that we've handed on to them! Don't ask about how their dental check ups went.

~ June came on strong and hot and we spent the majority of our afternoons at the pool. Peter and Rachel also took a round of morning swim lessons, so double pool time for them! Ruth got her choice of a floaty/innertube as another bday gift, and chose a wildly huge and hilarious pretzel. It's so fun she often chooses NOT to take it to the pool because she doesn't want to have to deal with all the kids there wanting to be on it non-stop.

~ The 4th of July was insane this year! Kids were planning and constructing fireworks-extravaganza-structures weeks in advance. Arthur's fam and Tom and Laura came to join in the craziness, and it was a party for the ages. There are videos that I took on Marianne's phone that I hope to share someday, but she accidentally deleted them while we were on vacation, so Nathaniel's having to research "deleted file recovery" and see what he can do. Poor Marianne. She was heartbroken as she watched the videos delete, when she'd been trying to "protect" them from that exact fate.

Okay! I think that's it! I'm calling myself all caught up. Prepare yourselves... the vacation post is coming!

Ruth's Confirmation! (mostly)

We have a had a whirlwind couple of weeks since Easter and I sort of feel like I can breathe now, except that we've reached the part of the school year during which you get the impression you're rolling ever faster down a hill and things won't settle till summer is upon us. And probably not then. There are spring programs and birthdays (mine, for one!) and camp sign ups and on and on and on. Also, the breathing is being hindered at the moment by a lingering head cold that I cannot wait to be rid of. Ugh. I don't get sick often, so I'll try not to be overly whiny, but yuck. I hate snot.

A very quick catch up, most of which you'll already have seen on instagram:

Easter was wonderful and lovely and the photos were a wreck, as usual, due to the glorious sun. You'd think one of these years I'd just have them all face a different direction, right? This was not that year.

The following weekend we made a quick roadtrip to southeast Kansas to celebrate my grandma's 80th birthday. It was a little crazy, all that time in the car for so little at our destination, but I'm glad we did it (even if I do blame Grandma for the cold I'm getting over). The party was planned by my aunt Carolyn and cousin Cari, and it turned out beautifully. The dazzling array of cupcakes didn't hurt!

Isn't my grandma lovely? You'd never know she was suffering a nasty cold in this photo. Now that I know first hand how badly she must have wished she could go home to bed, I'm in awe of what a trooper she was! Love you, Grandma!

We got home late Sunday, and my attention switched immediately to Confirmation. I only have a few photos of the party, but you can check out Renee's blog for those. She really did all the hard work of planning and decorating for the event. She left me to handle my preferred portion - the food. I baked a swirled vanilla and red velvet cake - a  large layer cake for the main event, along with a few jumbo cupcakes for the folks celebrating their birthdays on or near the day of confirmation. Lunch was fairly simple - egg salad and chicken salad sandwiches, veggies, chips, etc. Having swings and teeter totters in the building gave it more of a picnic feel than one might hope for at an indoor venue! (Originally the party was slated to be outside at Renee's, but low temps and high winds were cause for a last minute shift).

All that is jumping the gun, though! First, we got our girl confirmed!

Ruth commented after the retreat day, at which they rehearsed for the mass, that she was walking up with William and was glad of it. I said, "Because you walked together to First Communion, too?" She replied, "No. Not that. Because he's my cousin, so it's not weird. I wouldn't want to have to walk up the aisle with any other boys in my class!" I mean, eeeeewwww, no. Who would?! Love it.

Ellen is her sponsor and St. Joan of Arc her new patron saint. I think it was an inspired choice, on both counts. Bishop Emeritus Bruskewitz performed the confirmation ceremony. Ruth is looking downright shiny-headed in that last picture from the chrism rubbing she received.

THEN to the party!

Despite a kid or two getting bowled over, the swings provided huge amounts of entertainment!

Cake! And lots of it!

We were honored to have Bishop Conley make a cameo at the party and give us his blessing. He even thought to suggest a group photo, for which I am very grateful since I failed to take any other family pictures that day. 

(My mom and dad were both in attendance as well, but my mom was taking photos with one camera and my dad was... missing. Huh. But you see the rest of us there! I joked that this photo will be prominently featured when Peter is ordained.)

My sweet Ruth Lauren Joan, opening her cards and gifts. I gave her little fleur de lis earrings for the occasion, since Joan of Arc had the fleur de lis on her banner. We are exceptionally proud of the young woman Ruth is growing into. "I am not afraid... I was born to do this" seems a wonderful, fitting quote for Ruth's approach to life. St. Joan of Arc, pray for her!

And while that would be a good end to the post, I must also include this amazing photo of the great use the kids put the party hats to while the adults were cleaning up.

Obedience

617. Obey, as an instrument obeys in the hands of the artist - not stopping to consider the why and the wherefore of what it is doing. Be sure that you'll never be directed to do anything that isn't good and for the greater glory of God.*
     *(Note from the book) This point reflects Escriva's conviction that those who occupy positions of authority in apostolic enterprises, especially the Church's hierarchy, have a special grace from God. His aim is what he called "intelligent obedience" that asks questions and makes suggestions, but with the goal of carrying out God's will rather than one's own.

618. The enemy: "Will you obey, even in this ridiculous little detail?"
     You with God's grace: "I will obey, even in this heroic little details!"

620. If obedience doesn't give you peace, it's because you're proud.

621. What a pity if the one in charge doesn't give you good example! But is it only for his personal qualities that you obey? Or do you in your selfishness interpret Saint Paul's "Obey your superiors" with an addition of your own: "Always provided that they have virtues to my own taste"?

From "The Way" by St. Josemaria Escriva

*****

I think holy obedience is one of the virtues most absent from our society today, and that absence is greatly to blame for the crazy world we live in. Everyone wants what they want, when they want it, without regard to any higher power. greater good, or natural law.

*****

I came across this article on staying connected to your teenage daughter and found it very helpful. I suppose I've read most of the points previously, but they were good reminders, and the description of the pre-teen/teen's reactions and moods were very like what we see in Marianne these days. It's always a comfort to know that your kid is going through the normal phases, and that we, the parents, are not alone. Which is in no way meant to indicate that I think Marianne is a terribly challenging or moody child... more that she's our first and it's good to have the advice of those who've been there before us.

Merry Christmas to all!

As usual, the desire to send Christmas cards was bumped for budgetary reasons in favor of hosting our annual Gaudete party. In lieu of a card, allow me to share some of the photos my wonderful friend Sarah took for us about a month ago. Hooray for an unseasonably warm fall that allowed for coat-free photos in late November! That said, it was late afternoon on a school day, so some kids were cranky, the window of light was short, and one person may have wet her pants along the way... Just sayin'. Sarah did amazing work with the situation and players she was given.

I wish I could show you a flip book of Rachel in the attempts at group shots, to illustrate how truly challenging she was being. Jumping, crouching, gathering sticks and making faces. I had to work with the photos in which she wasn't totally blurry-in-motion, which sadly cut out a lot of great smile photos for the other kids. Also... that look on Ruth's face? I don't know where that came from, but it was pervasive this afternoon. I kept asking her to relax her smile and start fresh, because it would get strained looking very quickly. I'll quit making excuses, though. I have five beautiful, healthy, vibrant children, and I am grateful beyond measure for them! If they refuse to stand still and smile like normal humans, so be it.

I adore this photo of Marianne. Her smile is so natural here! She's nine months into a 24-ish month stint with braces, and seldom complains about them anymore unless they've recently been adjusted. Sixth grade is proving much more challenging than any prior year of school, but she still manages to top grades. She's participating this year in MathCounts, mostly because we're bribing her to, and she's doing very well! She is one of three 6th grade girls who qualified to compete in February (10 students from each school may compete individually; she beat out a few 8th graders and several 7th graders for a spot, though she fell just short of making the 4-student "competing team"). Now that she's proven her abilities, she's getting more excited to be a part of the program. Marianne has become our go-to babysitter, and she is enthusiastic in the role. She encourages us to go out more often and stay out later, despite not getting paid to watch her siblings. I try not to take advantage of this, as I don't want her to burn out early.

Ruth still declines to cut her hair beyond a small start-of-school trim. She nearly sits on it now, and I'm debating how long is too long, but she cares for it herself so I let it go. Ruth joined Chess Club this year and continues to lose matches, but is an enthusiastic member of the club, nonetheless. I love that she doesn't have to win to want to play! She has become an excellent skate boarder since receiving a penny board last spring. She continues to spend large amounts of time in our front tree, when the weather allows. Her natural state is "in motion". She has formed a tight group of friends at school, yet she reaches out to other girls when she sees them without someone to play with. Ruth makes me smile. She has not altogether avoided the pitfalls of the 'tween life; her emotions can be volatile. She swings from joyful to tearful in the blink of an eye, sometimes for no apparent reason. Nathaniel and I occasionally joke with her, "Ruth, don't be a stressful teenager". I can't remember where we read it, but the idea was to help kids learn early how to cope, so you avoid these issues in the teen years. I'm not sure the intention was for us to make sarcastic remarks to our pre-teen when she's sad, but we're doing the best parenting we know how. And really, is there actually such a thing as a teenager who is NOT stressful? 

Margaret, Margaret, Margaret. She was one of the trouble kids at the photo shoot. She was much more interested in collecting flora than posting. And that, despite her wearing a fabulous pink tutu skirt and cowboy boots! This picture is classic Meg, though. She prefers her smile with her mouth closed, probably because when it's open you can see the gaping hole where her two front teeth should be. No two front teeth for this girl yet for Christmas. Maybe Easter. She is the girliest of my girls, but she's training Rachel to follow in her footsteps. She'd rather wear skirts with tights or leggings over pants any and every day. She wants her shirts to have a slim fit. She seldom leaves the house without a headband. Meg loves to scooter and ride her bike. She thoroughly enjoyed soccer this fall, so I should probably see if her classmates are playing again in the spring. She still dreams of being a ballerina, despite knowing we can't swing dance classes. Someday she'll make the same jokes I did in my 20s, about how she'd have been a prima ballerina if only her mom had let her take lessons. In her ample free time (you know - where dance classes could be) she reads and draws and reads and draws some more. She is seldom far from paper in some form. She is in a class full of wonderful girls, and her "best friend" changes from day to day, but the girls all seem to get along wonderfully well so far. I consider that a huge blessing, because I know there are other classes in which that is not the case.

Oh, Peter. This boy. He is so needy, but so loving, and so wonderful. (He was a good sport for photos, but has a terrible fake smile and a high energy level, so he's squinty or squirmy in many an otherwise great picture.) Peter, as you can see, is still missing his front two teeth as well. Only two more years or so till they grow back in... so that's something. Peter is clingy with me, and still gets sad when I leave, but he's doing much better at giving me "one more hug and a kiss" (or sometimes three or four or five more) and letting me leave when I must, or leaving with the girls when he needs to get to school. Peter is an expert light saber battler, but is being drawn in by the allure of blasters as we've just begun showing him the old Star Wars movies. I realize we're light years behind most of his class on this (pun intended). He's hilarious to watch the movies with. Every time there's a gun battle, he's leaping and crouching and shooting and flinging himself bodily across the room, acting out his own version. He has so. much. ENERGY. I wish we could bottle it for sale.

Rachel was the main problem child for pictures, the adorable little punk. At least her hair looks fabulous in every picture. Rachel is the doll baby of our family. She is doted on, and probably spoiled. Except by Peter. The two of them share a room and a dresser and most of their toys, so they are natural adversaries. They love each other well, but they get into some mighty screaming matches along the way. Then they go back to riding bikes together or coloring together or leaping down the small flight of brick stairs as superheroes together, and all is right with the world again. She is obsessed with Halloween, specifically with what her costume will be for next Halloween. Anything that comes up in conversation can become her next costume idea. Sometimes they make sense ("I'm going to be a spider for next Halloween"), or at least sort of make sense ("I'm going to be a zombie princess sword fighter for next Halloween" - thanks "Chasing Fireflies" catalog for some quirky ideas). Other times, they are hilarious weird ("I'm going to be a fork for next Halloween"). I keep telling the other kids to let her forget these ideas. For the love of pete, please don't remind her of them. I need her to move past the crazy stuff so I can talk her into whatever I want her to be when next Halloween actually rolls around.

As luck would have it, my favorite shots of all the kids together were the handful that I joined them in. I like to get one photo with me in it, whenever I have them done, so that I can update a frame on Nathaniel's desk at work. Usually it's not my favorite, but it serves its purpose. This year, it's my favorite. Some friends joked that I should photoshop Nathaniel in. Given his long work hours the past several months, it would almost make a humorously accurate image of our year. He's been in town, but he hasn't been home much, and much of his time at home has been spent working. We're soaking up the time we get with him over his winter break, because next semester doesn't appear to be improving. We thank God every night for his job and for him, for the time and energy he puts in to support our family. And I pray that his superiors realize how how hard he works for them, and appreciate him, and that his load gets lighter in the coming semesters.

Thanks again to Sarah for the photos and the fun we had hanging out while she shot them.

Thanks to the rest of you for reading my little Christmas letter update, let's call it. Merry Christmas to you all! I hope your families are all healthy and well and together for the holidays!

Playing catch up - SO BIG Edition

Early November is a flurry of activity around here. We bounce immediately off Halloween and into Peter's birthday, followed by Rachel's, usually with the parish bazaar in the middle to ensure we get no rest.

Since we did our big birthday celebration at the pumpkin patch, Peter's and Rachel's days were quiet, with our immediate family at home, having a dinner and cake of their choosing. Peter had a "quiet birthday" last year, as well, and is starting to get grumpy about it. He may need something a little louder next year, and something all his own. We'll see how much energy I have when the time comes.

Peter turned the big Oh-FIVE this year. "Hasn't he been five for, like, two years?!" you ask. Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way. Whether it's the height, the missing teeth, or the ability to print his name neatly, I'm glad the age is finally catching up with the kid. 

Peter at 5... wow. He's going through a serious mama's-boy phase. He occasionally throws fits about not wanting to go to school in the morning ("School is BORing! I HATE school!"), which is especially challenging because he walks to school with his sisters and if I can't get him out the door with them, they get antsy about being late, which doesn't help calm the situation. I've started a bribery reward system in which he earns a matchbox car for every five times he leaves for school cheerfully. Since he only has school 2 to 3 days a week, it takes at least a couple weeks for him to earn a car. Some days it helps. Some days, the car is no match for his desire to stay home with me. So far, I've gotten him into school every day, although one day I did have to send the big girls on ahead and take him to school myself once I was dressed and ready.

Just as he doesn't want to leave me, he also does not like for me to leave him. For any reason. Ever. Even for two minutes. I mean, I still leave; don't get me wrong. But I often leave behind a wailing puddle of Peter when I go, and that's after six "just one more hug and kiss"es. I am not the super sentimental, soft-hearted type. This does not make me want to stay and cuddle him. It makes me want to leave more often and sneakily, to avoid the drama. I fight this impulse because I don't think it would help him. But, oy. I've had mama's-babies, but never a bigger kid who took my absence so hard.

He does alright once I'm gone. It's just that parting is such sweet sorrow. Minus the sweet.

The dark room with glowing candles shots always
come out terribly, but often they best capture the 
birthday kid's personality. Peter was doing a little 
seated jig as we sang, arms swinging, and just 
eating up the attention!

Peter is FULL. OF. ENERGY. Holy smokes. I love this kid to the moon. He's the most affectionate kid in the world, and he has a heart of gold, when he manages to slow down enough to let you notice. His two settings are constant motion and asleep.

Peter was given the rockin' cool birthday crown at preschool in the morning. He didn't
take it off all day, including while we ran errands between school and lunch. It got him 
a lot of "happy birthday!"s from strangers while we were out.

Peter is a bright kid. He loves to "read" books (though he doesn't really read yet), draw, and sound out words to write. He also loves sword fighting, pretend-gun fighting, wrestling, battling, ninja-attacking and any other words you can find for generally making war, one-on-one or on teams. He's always enjoyed tinkering with our family's stash of legos, but this was the birthday that legos became awesome for him. He was gifted two sets and bought a third with his birthday money. He managed to do the junior and regular sets mostly on his own, though there was no lack of help when needed.

His main gift from us was a new scooter of his own. He already knew how to use one, having borrowed from his big sisters often, but he's much better now that he has one with handlebars set to the right height for him. Watch out world, Peter's got new wheels! (We've had the most wonderfully mild fall, so he had weeks of using his scooter before the cold snap came. Lovely!)

Between Peter's and Rachel's birthdays, there were a couple activities of note, which you may already have seen on instagram:

When life drops a dead possum in your backyard, you poke him with sticks. Obviously.
Praise the good Lord, he wasn't just playing dead. Yick.

Future Bakers of America training. Baking copious amounts of Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls for the bazaar's bake
sale (I was sad to see each pan priced at only $4.50... that barely covers the cost of my butter!), a preschool mom's
coffee event I hosted, and our family's dining pleasure.

"Helping" Rachel with a Halloween gingerbread house she received from Liz and Whit the week prior. 

She did manage to stick a lot of candies to the frosting applied by her sisters;
she was very proud of her work.

Rachel has been talking about turning "FWEE" for weeks. She worked hard to teach herself to hold up three fingers instead of two, in anticipation of the big day, and she's shown everyone she's met since.

When we don't have a family party for the birthday kid, Renee lets her boys bring a gift to
them in the afternoon. They gave Rachel dot markers. The markers were new to her, so 
Elliot and Oliver helped teach her how to use them.

I'm not sure where to begin, talking about Rachel at age 3. She is still my baby, a feat no other child has managed for this long, so of course she's a little spoiled. (Note: Ruth turned three before Meg was born, but Meg was already well on her way.) We have two to three mornings a week together, just the two of us, while Peter is at school. When we run errands, she gets more treats than any of her siblings before her, I'm sure. She doesn't ask to be held often, but gets more yeses when she does than her siblings did, since my arms aren't already occupied by a smaller one. I'm not saying there won't be more babies in our household - my motto is "never say never" when it comes to this topic - I'm just pointing out that things are different with Rachel.

Probably in part because she's spoiled, she throws a tantrum like a champ. Thankfully it doesn't happen often. Mostly she plays, by herself or with her siblings - they spoil her, too.  She loves making art. Once she finishes a lovely picture, her favorite thing is to cut it into a million pieces and jam them into an envelope.

She loves dancing, as well. She'll spin and kick, somersault and strike a pose with the best of them. She asks me to put on music, either in the kitchen or the drawing room, then asks for it louder and louder till it's blaring, then she dances her heart out.

Her long running favorite book is "Sarah's Room", with illustrations by Maurice Sendak. My guess is that we've had it checked out of the library for well over 20 weeks now. We'll return it occasionally, when we run out of renewals, then check it out again next time we go. It's the perfect size for her little hands, and if it weren't long out of print and outrageously expensive for a used book, we'd certainly own one. If you ever happen to see it in a used bookstore for a reasonable price, get it for me. I don't care if Rachel is 20 by then, I'd love to own it. I read half the lines and she fills in blanks. "Of all the rooms in all the world, the best is Sarah's room."

Another set of horrible photos, but oh!
these happy faces.

Rachel's cake was a gift from my friend Kristi. She donated it to the bazaar's cake walk. We saw it, not knowing she'd baked it, and I pointed it out as the first cake we should pick, if one of my kids won, since it would save my having to bake a cake the next day (Rachel requested chocolate cake with chocolate frosting). We failed to win the cake walk several times and gave up. Later, we saw Kristi and her family with this cake! Her son had won a turn on the cake walk and chosen their own cake. I told her about our efforts for Rachel's birthday, and that I was even more bummed that we'd lost it since I know anything she bakes will be delicious. She kindly insisted we take the cake. Her son said he didn't mind, and I hope that's true. It was perfect, both because it saved me some work, and because we never did end up winning a cake this year. Usually we score two or three! 

It struck me that Rachel's day will almost always fall just after the bazaar, and therefore the cake walk day. It's hard to justify baking if we've just brought home two or three cakes... but so often my children choose things that look unappetizing to me. I suppose we'll just play each year by ear. If we win something I'm willing to eat, I'll skip baking. If not, I'll bake. What's that you say? It's about what Rachel wants and not me?! Pshaw. We all know that's not true, especially during these young years.

I'll wrap up with a very brief video of the typical crazy in our house, thanks primarily to these two sweet kiddos, with assistance from Ruth. They're learning from a pro. (There's nothing important in the sound, other than my cuing the acrobats).

Playing catch up - This Is Halloween Edition

I shared a group shot from Halloween already, but here's a little photo dump of the kids in their costumes for your viewing pleasure:

Hermione from the Harry Potter series, with the frizziest hair we could manage.

A princess. No one princess in particular. Just a princess. With really great hair.

A couple shots of the hair just after I finished it. We winged this, but it turned out cool. I used most of her hair to make one thick braid that I wrapped from the bottom right, all the way around the top of her head and nearly back to where it started. I kept a section of the front out to wrap over and hide the end of the main braid, then gathered the front hair and the remaining hair from the back/bottom and made a second braid to hang down in front. Overall, it gave a decent effect of it being one very long braid, which was the goal.

A witch. But not a mean witch... Mostly she was in it for the striped tights and pointed hat.

Robin. Inexplicably, he's been asking to be Robin since last Halloween when he saw the costume in a catalog (but we already had last year's Superman costume at the time). He didn't forget, as I was sure he would. I tried to talk Ruth into being Batman/Batgirl so he'd have someone to sidekick for, but it turns out there aren't really good options for a tween-sized batgirl costume. Don't google that. Ugh.

How he posed most of the time. Dude is crazy.

Also a princess. Slightly more taciturn, but also with pretty great hair.

The hair.

The pair.

Ready to hit the candy trail with time to spare! Way to go, me! Turns out avoiding face paint saves all sorts of time.

How he "posed" most of the time. I wasn't kidding about the dude being crazy. He takes his super-heroing seriously. Note that the girls hardly notice he's left the line up.

*****

A week or so before Halloween, when the costumes were mostly put together, the kids wanted to try them on for Nathaniel. As he watched them parade through the dining room, he remarked, "Is this what we've come to now? Costumes straight out of the package?" Yes. Yes it is. (He was joking - I promise! Don't get grumpy with him.) I had a few quality years of home made costumes, or at least mostly home made costumes... I'd love to do that again. But when you can get them on Amazon or at Target or Cracker Barrel (my go to source for non-Disney-specific princess dresses) for $20 or less, it's hard to make a case for home made.